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Friday, June 30, 2006

The Test - How bitchy are you?

Ooh, this is great! Do you wanna know how bitchy you are?
Joe so kindly shared this little test in my previous post which is along the same subject matter. Thank you, Joe.

I've just done the test and I think I'm not normal - getting a score of 5.
But don't be fooled. I can be quite, quite the opposite.
Oh, okay, here's what it says...

"Congratulations, you had a low score on the bitch test and appear to be a decent person! You're not necessarily verging on sainthood, but we can safely assume that you have a basic respect for others and an acceptable sense of decorum. You try your best to maintain a certain level of etiquette, and control yourself even when tempted to stab someone in the back or settle a few scores. You are able to calm yourself down and think rationally rather than giving into the first animalistic urge to "attack". Sure, you may slip up from time to time, but you're only human! So wear those angel wings with pride - the world needs more civilized folk like you."

Someone once commented that I need more fire in my life.
He's probably right.

Enjoy the test.

Puppy, I am not

Whoever wrote this, is one helluva b****. Truth of the matter is,
it is true, really, really true. Go ahead, read it for yourself.
What amazes me is that only WOMEN get to be branded such. Have
you ever heard a guy being branded so? You have? Hmm... we're
not so alone afterall.


BITCHOLOGY
When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch.
When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch.
When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, they call me a bitch.

Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's in my heart. It means I live my life MY way. It means I won't allow anyone to step on me.

When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as a bitch.

The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish. It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I "should" be.
I am outspoken, opinionated and determined. I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!

So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me. You won't succeed.

And if that makes me a bitch , so be it. I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.

B - Babe
I - In
T - Total
C - Control of
H - Herself


B = Beautiful
I = Intelligent
T = Talented
C = Charming
H = Hell of a Woman


B = Beautiful
I = Individual
T = That
C = Can
H = Handle anything


Now that's better!

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Physiotherapist















Mr. Physio was an intelligent boy. After doing a physiotherapy
course abroad for 3 years, he returned home and set up a clinic
in his hometown.

He asked a designer to make a new name plate to be hung on the
wall outside the clinic. The next morning, when he went to his
clinic, he was pleased to find that the name plate was already
put up. But he was greatly annoyed by the wordings on the plate:
TUKANG URUT.

He went to the designer and took him to task.

"How can you insult my profession? 'Tukang Urut' means masseur
in Malay. I am a physiotherapist and not a masseur!
Make sure you change the name right now and see that the word
is spelt correctly!" Physio said angrily.

The designer apologized and promised to make the change
immediately. Without further delay, he proceed to change the
name but found that the word "physiotherapist' was too long.
So he broke it up into three words to make it easier to read.

The next morning, Physio hit the roof when he saw the new name.
On the name plate was written:


PHYSIO THE RAPIST

Party Time

Look Ma! I'm all prettied up for the party.





























Dressing up your pets is one thing but what about stripping
them of their fur? I feel sorry for this poor cat. Would you
do this to your pet?

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Female Dictionary

Have you guys ever wondered why it's rather difficult
at times communicating with your womenfolk? No worries,
here's a guide to help you gain more understanding.


Actully, we women are easy to understand. Really.















Come on. Stay focussed! Nevermind those legs!

"Fine"
This is the word a woman uses at the end of any argument
that they feel they are right about but need to shut you up.
NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause
you to have one of those arguments.

"Five minutes"
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes
that your ootball game is going to last before you take out
the rubbish, so they eel that it's an even trade.

"Nothing"
This means something and you should be on your toes.
"Nothing" is sually used to describe the feeling a woman
has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, backwards,
or all three. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that
will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".

"Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows):
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset
over Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

"Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows):
This means "I give up" or "Do what you want because I don't care".
You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes,
followed by Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about
"Five Minutes" when she cools off.

"Loud Sigh"
This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement
very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are
an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time
standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

"Soft Sigh"
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are
one of the few things that some men actually understand.
She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and
she will stay content.

















Hey guys! Concentrate. Not the picture. Jeez!


"Oh!"
This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example;
"Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about that
you were doing last night". If she says "Oh" before a statement,
RUN (do not walk) to the nearest exit. She will tell you that
she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the
window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days.
"Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are
caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or
you will get raised eyebrows, "Go ahead", followed by acts so
unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about them.

"That's Okay"
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman
can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think
long and hard before paying you retributions for whatever it is
that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word
"Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow and
"Go Ahead". At some point in the near future when she has
plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

"Please Do"
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you
the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have
for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair
chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a
"That's Okay".

"Thanks"
The woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say "you're welcome".

"Thanks A Lot!!"
This is very different to "Thanks". A woman will say,
"Thanks A Lot!!" when she is REALLY pi*sed off at you.
It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way,
and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to
ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as she will
only tell you "Nothing".

Source unknown

Why did the Chicken cross the road?

This, I found from my archives. I'm a sucker for articles
like these so you can imagine the gems (I like to call it that)
I have in my almost 4GB of stuff in my PC. Oops!!

So, here is the age-old time-immemorial simple question.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

The common logical answer is of course, to get to the other side.
But consider the various categories of people in this world and
the genius in them would give interesting different answers.
Check them out. Btw, this wasn't drafted by me, so please,
don't hold it against me for what chicken-sh*t you're about
to read below.

A N S W E R S
=============

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER:
>> To get to the other side.

ARISTOTLE:
>> It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

RONALD REAGAN:
>> I forget.

ARTHUR ANDERSEN CONSULTANT:
>> Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening
its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with
significant challenges to create and develop the competencies
required for the newly competitive market.
Andersen, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped
the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy
and implementation processes.
Using the Poultry Integration Model (P! IM), Andersen helped
the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital
and experiences to align the chicken people, processes and
technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program
Management framework.
Andersen convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and
best chickens along with Andersen consultants with deep skills
in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary
of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge
capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to
synergize with an enterprise-wide value framework across the
continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was
held in a park-like setting, enabl! ing and creating an
impactful environment whic h was strategically based,
industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and
unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission,
vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the
creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen
helped the chicken change to become more successful.

RICHARD M. NIXON:
>> The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did
NOT cross the road.

JERRY SEINFELD:
>> Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever
think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking
around all over the place, anyway?

BILL GATES:
>> I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will
not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your checkbook.

MAHATHIR:
>> You know, I am tired of all this..'apa-nama'
chicken-chicken bisnes.... the foreign powers should stop
intervening in our domestic affairs and just leave our
chickens alone..... if they want to...'apa nama'
cross the road, they should be allowed to cross the road ..
Malaysia is a democratic country,we let our chickens do
whatever they want to do....as long as they don't threaten the
malay unity and try to topple the government...and if they plan
to do so...we wont hesitate to use the ISA...

ABDULLAH BADAWI:
>> Ini semua ! adalah khabar angin sahaja...jangan percaya khabar
- khaba r angin ini semua...biasalah ini adalah taktik
pembangkang untuk memecah belahkan perpaduan ayam - ayam
semua...jangan percaya..jangan percaya....

SAMY VELLU :
>> ayyooyoo...belakang cerita lain kali, kalu itu ayam mau pigi
jalan-jalan,beritau sama saya juga, saya bolley buat lebbey
banyak toll........

COLONEL SANDERS:
>> I missed one?

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

More World Cup - Go! England Go!

I know, I know, I'm a day late in celebrating England's win over
Ecuador but a win is still a win no matter the time.
England 1; Ecuador 0.

There were comments that it was a boring game. By boring,
they probably meant not enough goals to make the game exciting.

Not to me. One single goal was all it took to win in this case.
I'm sure the England team supporters would agree with me.

If you missed the game, this is how the ball went in
made possible by David Beckham, the team captain, who now holds the record of scoring in three World Cups for England.



David Beckham at the game



More of David Beckham (an overkill perhaps but I'm sure
the ladies don't mind.)




While we're at the World Cup, in 1998 Ricky Martin made it big
with his World Cup 1998 song, "The Cup of Life". And there
were some who also got to enjoy some degree of fame then.











Here we go! Ale, Ale Ale! Go, go, go! Ale, Ale Ale!

Sewing Machine

A Comedy of Errors

--The following is an ad from a real-life newspaper which
appeared four days in a row - the last three hopelessly trying
to correct the first day's mistake.

MONDAY:
For sale: R. D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale.
Phone 948-0707 after 7 P.M.. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives
with him cheap.

TUESDAY:
Notice: We regret having erred In R. D. Jones' ad yesterday. It
should have read "One sewing machine for sale cheap.
Phone 948-0707 and ask for Mrs. Kelly, who lives with him after
7 P.M."

WEDNESDAY:
Notice: R. D. Jones has informed us that he has received
several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in
the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows:
"For sale -- R. D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Cheap.
Phone 948-0707 after 7 P.M. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who loves
with him."

THURSDAY:
Notice: I, R. D. Jones, have no sewing machine for sale. I
intentionally broke it. Don't call 948-0707 as I have had the
phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs. Kelly.
Until yesterday she was my housekeeper, but she has now quit.

Monday, June 26, 2006

A History lesson

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating
victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger
of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger
it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and
therefore be incapable of fighting in the future.

This famous weapon was made of the native English Yew tree, and
the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew"
(or "pluck yew").

Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major
upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers
at the defeated French, saying, "See, we can still pluck yew!
PLUCK YEW!"

Over the years some 'folk etymologies' have grown up around this
symbolic gesture. Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say
(like "pleasant mother pheasant plucker," which is who you had
to go to for the feathers used on the arrows for the longbow),
the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually
changed to a labiodental fricative 'F', and thus the words often
used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute are mistakenly
thought to have something to do with an intimate encounter.

It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows that
the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird".


And yew all thought yew knew everything.


Source unknown

Poetry - The Truth

Good morning.

What better way to start the week than to be truthful -
with the help of a little poetry. Nah, it's more like a
"dream-on" his-and-her poem.



FEMALE POEM
I want a man who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I want him to be gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, be not annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! For a man who makes love to my mind
And knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I want this man to love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

MALE POEM
I want a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge teats
who owns a liquor store and a fishing boat.
I know this doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.


No matter.
Have a really lovely, lovely week ahead.














(For more poetry, you may want to check out Joe's poetic world.)

Friday, June 23, 2006

Beauty of the Soul

Let me leave you with this lovely quote to end the week.













Have a happy weekend.

"Honey, what's for dinner?"

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to
and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure
how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss
the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal
test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better
idea about her hearing loss.

"Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet
away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone,
see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet,
and so on until you get a response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner,
and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about
40 feet away, let's see what happens."

Then in a normal tone he asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

No response.

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet
from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet
from his wife and asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets no response so;

He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away.
"Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

"James, for the FIFTH time I've said, CHICKEN!"

Moral of the story:
The problem may not be with the other one as we always think -
could be very much within us..! SO don't always blame others
for the things that you may lack.

Women drivers

I've often wondered as to whether there's any justification
for blaming women drivers when it comes to 'adventures' of
the road. You tell me.





I think women drivers are great, don't you?

Thursday, June 22, 2006

How to tell the Sex of a Fly











A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband
stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.

"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 females," he replied.


Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"

He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

How to Stay Forever Young

There is a lot of wisdom here - things we tend to take for granted
or things that are so simple that we overlook. Nice cheerful
illustrations too.

How to Stay Forever Young





















1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight
and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why
you pay them.


2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down.

(Keep this In mind if you are one of those grouches;)













3. Keep learning.
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
whatever.

Never let the brain get idle.
"An idle mind is the devil's workshop."
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!


4. Enjoy the simple things.













5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and
Lots of time with HIM/HER.













6. The tears happen.
Endure, grieve, and move on.
The only person who is with you your entire
life, is yourself. LIVE while you are alive.


7. Surround yourself with what you love
whether it is family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.

Your home is your refuge.













8. Cherish your health.

If it is good, preserve it.
If it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.


9. Don't take guilt trips.

Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a
foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.












10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.










And if you don't send this to at least 4 people - who cares? LOL

But do share it with someone. =o)

The real truth about men's feelings

A little wisdom from my 'favourite' male colleague:

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are
the rules from the male side.

These are our rules:

o Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it.
Don't try to change that.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,
put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going
to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. o Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
o Subtle hints do not work!
o Strong hints do not work!
o Obvious hints do not work!
o JUST SAY IT!

1. ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost
every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and
one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. o You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done
o Not both
o If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say
during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. o ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
o Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
o We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will
act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is
just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you
wear is fine, Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
prepared to discuss such topics as:
- Sex,
- Sport, or
- Cars

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to
sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really
don't mind that, it's like camping.


Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

World Cup Again

With the World Cup still raging on, thought I'd post some
related stuff for some laughs. First up is this cartoon.
Malaysia is currently experiencing a sugar shortage thus
the goal here is either the World Cup or the Coffee Cup.





















Then, there's this guide for burning off those calories packed on
from potato chips and teh tarik or those late night suppers at the
mamak stall. A good guide this one.


























And finally, these
Tips for World Cup widows

EVER since the World Cup kicked off on June 9, millions of women across the world have been forced to share their husbands and boyfriends with a seductive rival: football.

It is a testing time but relationships do survive the World Cup. All it takes is skilful tactics and fair play.

Here are eight ways for women to take men on at their own game

1. Join them: One way not to feel left out is to become a supporter yourself. If you know nothing about football, Soccer Tips for Dummies by Michael Lewis may help you get the hang of the offside rule or try The Thinking Fan’s Guide to the World Cup for some insights on what makes your man tick.

Alternatively, get your partner to talk you through it and explain the rules.

2. Play away:
3. Play fair:
4. Stand by your fan:
5. Enjoy the spectacle from the sidelines:
6. Get the whole team involved:
7. Don’t cry foul:
8. The secret is not to worry.

You can go here for details.

Source: The Star

The Spoon

This is a forwarded article. Not sure if it's a joke but
it sure makes you wonder. Enjoy it anyway.

















Last week we took some friends out to a new Italian restaurant,
and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon
in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange, but I ignored it.

However, when the bus boy brought out water and utensils, I
noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket, then I looked
around the room and saw that all the staff had spoons in their
pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked,
"Why the spoon?"

"Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners recently hired
XYZ Consulting, experts in efficiency, in order to revamp
all our processes. After several months of statistical analysis,
they concluded that customers drop their spoons 73.84% more
often than any other utensil. This represents a drop frequency
of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel
are prepared to deal with that contingency, we can reduce the
number of trips back to the kitchen and save 5 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to
replace it with his spare spoon. "I'll get another spoon the
next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip
to right now."

I was rather impressed. I then noticed that there was a very
thin string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around,
I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging
from their flies. My curiosity got the better of me once more,
and before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me,
but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

"Oh, certainly!" he answered, lowering his voice.
"Not everyone is as observant as you. That consulting firm
I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom."

"How so?"

"See," he continued, "by tying this string to the tip of you know
what, we can pull it out over the urinal without touching it, and
that way eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the
time spent in the restroom by 76.39%."

"Okay, that makes sense, but . . .if the string helps you get it
out, how do you put it back in?"

"Well," he whispered, lowering his voice even further, "I don't
know about the others, but I use the spoon."

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Paul McCartney turns 64

Happy Birthday, Paul, and many happy returns.

Today, June 18, is Paul McCartney's birthday. He turns 64.
Thought I'd post some articles that the media has put together
to commemorate this milestone of this great musician's life.

Paul McCartney, ladies and gentlemen:
When I'm Sixty-four

















The Columbian...
Landmark Birthday Sunday for Paul McCartney
Jun 16, 6:28 PM EDT
By JILL LAWLESS
Associated Press Writer

LONDON (AP) -- About 14,000 yesterdays have passed since Paul McCartney first mused about turning 64. Sunday, he can stop musing.

The Beatles' groundbreaking 1967 album "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" made room for the more mundane McCartney song "When I'm Sixty-Four," in which he wondered about ... well, his golden years. "When I get older, losing my hair, many years from now," he crooned.More...


The Post Chronicle...
Paul McCartney Turns 64
by UPI Wire
Jun 18, 2006

PEASMARSH, England - June 18, 2006 (UPI) -- British rock legend and composer of the Beatles' song "When I'm 64," Sir Paul McCartney turned 64 Sunday.

The singer made the age a milestone when he sang "Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64?" in 1967 on the album "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band." More...

The Star...
For Paul McCartney, 'many years from now' is this month
By MARK CARO

He's not losing his hair, though colour seems to be an issue.

He does have grandchildren, though no Vera, Chuck or Dave.

He has been known to do a little gardening work, "digging the weed," so to speak. In fact, one of his multiple marijuana busts was for growing the stuff on his Scotland farm back in the early 70s. More...


Spaceref...
Paul even got a tribute of a non-earthly kind:
A Saturnian Musical Celebration to Honor Paul McCartney

PRESS RELEASE
Date Released: Sunday, June 18, 2006
Source: Space Science Institute

On the occasion of Paul McCartney's landmark 64th birthday, the Cassini Imaging Central Laboratory for Operations (CICLOPS) is releasing today an 8-minute movie as a birthday gift to the former Beatle. Sixty-four of the most dramatic and spectacular images taken by NASA's Cassini spacecraft, including one mosaic from the European-built Huygens probe of the surface of Titan, are composed together in a cinematic voyage through the Saturn system and put to the music of the Beatles.
More...

And then there are these
64 things you should know about Paul McCartney
Fred Shuster and Rob Lowman / Los Angeles Daily News
Sixty-four must have seemed like forever at 16.

That was the age that Paul McCartney says he wrote "When I'm Sixty-Four," the dance-hall ditty that appeared on the 1967 Beatles album "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band."

Today, the rock icon does turn 64, and he certainly doesn't have to worry about losing his hair, if someone will feed him, need him or send him a birthday greeting.
More...

Wanna hear the song again? Here it is...

Friday, June 16, 2006

FIFA World Cup





















Yes!!! England is through to the second round after
beating Trinidad and Tobago 2-0. England actually gave me a scare.
Did they you too?

England join Ecuador and Germany while Sweden also celebrate.
















Picture source: The Star

Happy Father's Day - Sun, June 18

To all fathers out there, may you have the best
Father's Day ever.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Best Police Cars in the World

You've seen Robin's line-up of taxis in Bangkok, now see
the line-up of best Police cars in the world.

German police car...Lamborgini..gallardo..max speed 320km/hr












Japan...Lancer Evo IX..max speed 280km/hr












France ..Peugeot...sports gt













Spain .....Audi TT max speed 280km/hr












England ....Porsche .....Do I have to tell the speed














Source unknown

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Dead Duck

Most times we take action based on just one opinion but
at times, we need a second, even a third to convince us.


A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon.
As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his
stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment
or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry,
your pet has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure? "Yes, I'm sure.
The duck is dead," he replied. "How can you be so sure", she
protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or
anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room.
He returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.
As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on
his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and
sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet
with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out and returned a few
moments later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the
table and also sniffed the bird from its beak to its tail and
back again. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head,
meowed softly, jumped down and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said,
this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys,
and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's
owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried.
"$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it,
the bill would have been $20. But what with the Lab Report and
the Cat Scan, it all adds up."


Woooof! Woof!
Meoowwww..........

Believe it or not

During an hour's swimming at a municipal pool
you will ingest 1/12 litre of urine.















In an average day your hands will have come into indirect
contact with 15 penises (touching door handles etc.)















An average person's yearly fast food intake will contain 12 pubic hairs















In a year you will have swallowed 14 insects - while you slept!















Annually you will shake hands with 11 women who have
recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands.















Annually you will shake hands with 6 men who have
recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands.















In a lifetime 22 workmen will have examined the contents
of your dirty linen basket.















At an average wedding reception you have a 1/100 chance
of getting a cold sore from one of the guests.















Daily, you will breath in 1 litre of other peoples' anal gases.















Did I hear someone saying "I'm never leaving the house again after reading this one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?"
HAVE A GREAT DAY!

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Travel agent stories













A little geography lesson here courtesy of my travel agent friend.

The following are actual stories told by travel agents in the
States and you wonder why US citizens generally score less than
the rest of the world on geography):

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After
going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper
to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

I really did have someone ask for an aisle seat so that their
hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown.
I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport
information when she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to
make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts."
Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly
explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa."
Her response....click.

A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was
possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got
into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was
an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the
concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went
very fast, and she bought that!

A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical
description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs
to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well,
when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my
luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any
connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I
"looked into it" (I was actually laughing) I came back and
explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the
airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I
know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly
he meant, which he replied, "I was told my flight number
is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them."

A business man called and had a question about the documents
he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy
discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa.
"Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to
have one of those." I double checked, and sure enough, his
stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look,
I've been to China 4 times and every time they have accepted
my American Express."

A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from
Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss
for words. Finally, the agent said, "Are you sure that's
the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?"
replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came
back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport
code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere."
The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where
it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state
of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"
"That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"

Crystals in the sky













The title could have fooled you but the colours are so beautiful
that I can't help but think of crystals and gemstones of
sapphires and rubies and topazes and amethysts, pearls,
emeralds, and jade and diamonds and........


No, this is not the sky in Kuala Lumpur nor in Kuching but
somewhere over the Washington-Idaho border captured on a
Saturday midday.

In a breathtaking blaze of glory, Nature puts on one of its
most spectacular sky shows.

Reds, oranges, blues and greens create a flaming rainbow
that stretches above the clouds.

But this circumhorizon arc, as it is known, owes more to
ice than fire. It occurs when sunlight passes through
ice crystals in high cirrus clouds. It is one of 15 types
of ice halos formed only when the most specific of factors
dovetail precisely together.

This blanket of fire, covering hundreds of square miles,
is the rarest phenomenon of them all. It was spotted in
the US on the Washington-Idaho border around midday last
Saturday.

Dr Jonathan Fox, of the US National Weather Service in
Spokane, Washington, said that it was even more spectacular
than the Northern Lights and that he feels lucky to have
seen it because it only forms in very rare situations.
This is the first one he's ever seen. It was a breathtaking
sight and it hung around for about an hour.

To create a rainbow of fire, clouds must be at least
20,000ft high and the ice crystals within them align
horizontally instead of their usual vertical position.
The sun also needs to be at least 58 degrees above the
horizon. Then, the magic can begin.

Source unknown

Btw, wanna know something about your birthstone? Click here.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Happy, Happy Birthday Pink Panther

















Dear Pink Panther:

Born on the 12 of June, the Eagle best describes you.
You are a well-respected figure which has excellent visionary
qualities. Eagles will truck no nonsense and will fix opponents
with a powerful stare. They have the power to rise above the
trivial aspects of humanity, and are highly talon-ted

A Hornbeam Tree you are too with good taste and
of cool beauty, cares for its looks and condition,
good taste, is not egoistic, makes life as comfortable
as possible, leads a reasonable and disciplined life,
looks for kindness and acknowledgment in an emotional partner,
dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings,
mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very
conscientious.

You are Chamomile Tea:
Your element is Rain and you are unique.
You are a Talent and you have a natural Seduction style.

Have the best birthday ever!

The Real Burger King

Will the real Burger King please serve up!

I'll probably take a week or two to finish one whopper
like this and I may even get weaned off burgers for good.
You can have mine.







Friday, June 9, 2006

Thou Art Beautiful

Another tribute to art, body art, that is. The body is a
beautiful thing, don't you think? Not convinced? Then,
please visit here and here, the latter in relation to the World Cup.







At Peace with Nature

Good Morning.

Much was said here yesterday. So today, we shall have some
peace and quiet and admire nature's moments as we let the
world sashay by. Enjoy these beautiful shots.
And, have a wonderfully splendid day.





















Source unknown

Thursday, June 8, 2006

Laughter the Best Medicine

First, I made you cry, then I made you smile, and now
let me make you laugh. All this in one day. Enjoy.....


My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last.
Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine,
good food.....
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

I asked my wife, Where do you want to go for our anniversary?
She said, Some where I have never been!
I told her, How about the kitchen?

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric
bread-maker. Then she said There are too many gadgets, and
no place to sit down! So I bought her an electric chair.

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling,
Am I too late for the garbage?
No, jump in! said the truck driver.

A husband said to his wife, Your mother has been living with
us for 5 years now. Isn't it time that she got herself her
own apartment? My mother? said the shocked wife,
I thought she was your mother.

A couple had three children. Two of them were bright, smart
and handsome but the third child was dull, ugly and backward.
One day the hubby got suspicious and asked, Tell me the
truth dear, is this third child really mine?
Yes, dear, replied the wife, but the other two are not.

One day a father called his 6 children together and asked,
Now tell me, who has been most obedient during last week and
did everything mother asked? In one voice they all replied,
You, daddy.

This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning,
peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind
him and wacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying
pan. He asks, What was that for?
She replies, What was that piece of paper in your pants
pocket with the name Marylou written on it?
He says, Oh honey, remember two weeks ago when I went to
the horse races? Marylou was the name of one of the horses
I bet on.
She is appeased and goes off to work around the house.
Three days later he is once again sitting in his chair
reading and she repeats the frying pan swatting.
He says, What's that for this time? She answered,
Your horse just called.

Moments in Life

After I made you cry in the previous post, let me make
you smile now. Received this sweet greeting just awhile
back. In fact, I've received this many times before
but this time, it comes with a cute picture. Attached
is the original page. If you mouse over the picture,
the cursor makes ripples as if on the water.
Give it a go. The effect is very nice. It's like skimming stones.

It goes like this.....

There are moments in life when you miss someone
so much that you just want to pick them from
your dreams and hug them for real!

When the door of happiness closes, another opens;
but often times we look so long at the
closed door that we don't see the one,
which has been opened for us.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive.
Don't go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile,
because it takes only a smile to
make a dark day seem bright.
Find the one that makes your heart smile.

Dream what you want to dream;
go where you want to go;
be what you want to be,
because you have only one life
and one chance to do all the things
you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong,
enough sorrow to keep you human and
enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarlly
have the best of everything;
they just make the most of
everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always
be based on a forgotten past;
you can't go forward in life until
you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying
and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end,
you're the one who is smiling and everyone
around you is crying.

Don't count the years - count the memories......

Brighten Someone's day by sharing this poem!
Someone who means something to you
Someone who has touched your life in one way or another;
Someone who makes you smile when you really need it;
Someone who makes you see the brighter side of things
when you are really down;
Someone whose friendship you appreciate!


Source: 321greeting.com

A little Romance

I'm feeling romantic so here's a little lovey-dovey tale
for you. Alright, call me mushy if you will.



== THE WALLET == A Very Touching Love Story ==

As I walked home one freezing day, I stumbled on a wallet
someone had lost in the street. I picked it up and looked
inside to find some identification so I could call the owner.
But the wallet contained only three dollars and a crumpled
letter that looked as if it had been in there for years.

The envelope was worn and the only thing that was legible
on it was the return address. I started to open the letter,
hoping to find some clue. Then I saw the dateline--1924.
The letter had been written almost 60 years ago.

It was written in a beautiful feminine handwriting on powder
blue stationery with a little flower in the left-hand corner.
It was a Dear John letter that told the recipient, whose
name appeared to be Michael, that the writer could not see
him any more because her mother forbade it. Even so, she
wrote that she would always love him.

It was signed, Hannah.

It was a beautiful letter, but there was no way except
for the name Michael, that the owner could be identified.
Maybe if I called information, the operator could find a
phone listing for the address on the envelope.

Operator, I began, this is an unusual request. I'm trying
to find the owner of a wallet that I found. Is there
anyway you can tell me if there is a phone number for an
address that was on an envelope in the wallet?

She suggested I speak with her supervisor, who hesitated
for a moment then said, Well, there is a phone listing
at that address, but I can't give you the number. She said,
as a courtesy, she would call that number, explain my story
and would ask them if they wanted her to connect me.
I waited a few minutes and then she was back on the line.
I have a party who will speak with you.

I asked the woman on the other end of the line if she knew
anyone by the name of Hannah. She gasped, Oh! We bought
this house from a family who had a daughter named Hannah.
But that was 30 years ago!

Would you know where that family could be located now?
I asked.

I remember that Hannah had to place her mother in a
nursing home some years ago, the woman said. Maybe if
you got in touch with them they might be able to track
down the daughter.

She gave me the name of the nursing home and I called
the number. They told me the old lady had passed away
some years ago but they did have a phone number for
where they thought the daughter might be living.

I thanked them and phoned. The woman who answered
explained that Hannah herself was now living in a
nursing home.

This whole thing was stupid, I thought to myself.
Why was I making such a big deal over finding the
owner of a wallet that had only three dollars and
a letter that was almost 60 years old?

Nevertheless, I called the nursing home in which
Hannah was supposed to be living and the man who
answered the phone told me, Yes, Hannah is staying
with us.

Even though it was already 10 p.m., I asked if
I could come by to see her.

Well, he said hesitatingly, if you want to take
a chance, she might be in the day room watching television.

I thanked him and drove over to the nursing home.
The night nurse and a guard greeted me at the door.
We went up to the third floor of the large building.

In the day room, the nurse introduced me to Hannah.

She was a sweet, silver-haired old timer with a warm
smile and a twinkle in her eye.

I told her about finding the wallet and showed her the
letter. The second she saw the powder blue envelope with
that little flower on the left, she took a deep breath
and said, Young man, this letter was the last contact
I ever had with Michael.

She looked away for a moment deep in thought and then
said Softly, I loved him very much. But I was only 16
at the time and my mother felt I was too young. Oh, he
was so handsome. He looked like Sean Connery, the actor.

Yes, she continued. Michael Goldstein was a wonderful
person. If you should find him, tell him I think of him
often. And, she hesitated for a moment, almost biting
her lip, tell him I still love him. You know, she said
smiling as tears began to well up in her eyes, I never
did marry. I guess no one ever matched up to Michael....

I thanked Hannah and said goodbye. I took the elevator
to the first floor and as I stood by the door, the guard
there asked, Was the old lady able to help you?

I told him she had given me a lead. At least I have a
last name. But I think I'll let it go for a while. I spent
almost the whole day trying to find the owner of this wallet.

I had taken out the wallet, which was a simple brown
leather case with red lacing on the side. When the guard
saw it, he said, Hey, wait a minute!

That's Mr. Goldstein's wallet. I'd know it anywhere with
that right red lacing. He's always losing that wallet.
I must have found it in the halls at least three times.

Who's Mr. Goldstein? I asked as my hand began to shake.

He's one of the old timers on the 8th floor. That's
Mike Goldstein's wallet for sure. He must have lost it
on one of his walks.

I thanked the guard and quickly ran back to the nurse's
office. I told her what the guard had said. We went back
to the elevator and got on. I prayed that Mr. Goldstein
would be up.

On the eighth floor, the floor nurse said, I think he's
still in the day room. He likes to read at night. He's
a darling old man.

We went to the only room that had any lights on and there
was a man reading a book. The nurse went over to him and
asked if he had lost his wallet. Mr. Goldstein looked
up with surprise, put his hand in his back pocket and
said, Oh, it is missing!

This kind gentleman found a wallet and we wondered
if it could be yours?

I handed Mr. Goldstein the wallet and the second he saw it,
he smiled with relief and said, Yes, that's it! It must
have dropped out of my pocket this afternoon. I want to
give you a reward.

No, thank you, I said. But I have to tell you something.
I read the letter in the hope of finding out who owned the
wallet.

The smile on his face suddenly disappeared. You read that
letter?

Not only did I read it, I think I know where Hannah is.

He suddenly grew pale. Hannah? You know where she is?
How is she? Is she still as pretty as she was? Please,
please tell me, he begged.

She's fine...just as pretty as when you knew her.
I said softly.

The old man smiled with anticipation and asked,
Could you tell me where she is? I want to call her
tomorrow. He grabbed my hand and said, You know
something, mister, I was so in love with that girl
that when that letter came, my life literally ended.
I never married. I guess I've always loved her.

Mr. Goldstein, I said, Come with me.

We took the elevator down to the third floor.
The hallways were darkened and only one or two little
night-lights lit our way to the day room where Hannah
was sitting alone watching the television. The nurse
walked over to her.

Hannah, she said softly, pointing to Michael, who
was waiting with me in the doorway. Do you know this man?

She adjusted her glasses, looked for a moment, but didn't
say a word. Michael said softly, almost in a whisper,
Hannah, it's Michael. Do you remember me?

She gasped, Michael! I don't believe it! Michael!
It's you! My Michael! He walked slowly towards her and
they embraced. The nurse and I left with tears streaming
down our faces.

See, I said. See how the Good Lord works! If it's meant
to be, it will be.

About three weeks later, I got a call at my office from
the nursing home.

Can you break away on Sunday to attend a wedding?
Michael and Hannah are going to tie the knot!

It was a beautiful wedding with all the people at the
nursing home dressed up to join in the celebration.
Hannah wore a light beige dress and looked beautiful.
Michael wore a dark blue suit and stood tall. They
made me their best man.

The hospital gave them their own room and if you ever
wanted to see a 76-year-old bride and a 79-year-old
groom acting like two teenagers, you had to see this couple.

A perfect ending for a love affair that had lasted nearly 60 years.

------------------------------------------
- Sent by Rich Massey
SUBJECT : Daily Encounter Saturday
Date : Sat, 7 Nov 1998 11:27:27 +0800
------------------------------------------

I'm not sorry I made you cry. I cried too and did too everytime
I read this. Pass me another tissue, please. Here's one for you too.

Wednesday, June 7, 2006

Visiting China

If you visit China or on your next trip, you may want to
try out these food.

They've got soups like

- The week beats the fish soup
- The chicken hates the soup of
- Top soup cloud swallows
- The pig picks the noodle soup

If you like rice, they have

- The curry chicken picks the rice
- Curry rock hind rice
- Living to fry the beef rice

Or if you prefer something more exotic, you may want to try

- Butter many privates.

Don't like butter? No problem. They have it French style too

- France many privates


Or try something else. Take your pick and..... bon appetit!




Tuesday, June 6, 2006

The Husband Store, New York

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City,
where a woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of
how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase
as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a
catch . . .. you may choose any man from a particular floor,
or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back
down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband . .

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love God

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love God and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love God, love kids, and
are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love God, love kids, are
drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love God, love kids, are
drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a
strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor
and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are
no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that
women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step
as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Source: Unknown

Where does Time go?


As a follow-up to the previous post on time, here's an
interesting article. It's a little long but is a good read, nevertheless.

Where does time go?

LIVING ALIVE By Dero Pedero
The Philippine STAR 10/24/2004



Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. – Douglas Adams

Man is a creature caught in the dimension of time and whether
we like it or not, we have to live life in linked episodes of
seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, and years.

"Where does time go?"


The Reality Of Time
Thomas Mann says, "Time has no divisions to mark its passage.
Even when a new century begins it is only we mortals who ring
bells and fire off pistols." Yes, time is a man-made concept
for conveniently marking historical events, measuring duration,
and scheduling day-to-day activities. It evolved from man’s
observation of nature’s cycles and seasons. Ancient astronomers
and astrologers took the 365 days it takes the earth to revolve
around the sun to signify a year. Following this logic, time
has to be a variable factor relative to a planet. Thus, a year
in Jupiter is determined by how long it takes to revolve around
the sun, and so on with the other planets.

Time, too, is arbitrary. The Roman calendar is different from
the Chinese lunar calendar and other religious calendars.
The Romans elected the birth of Christ as the major time
demarcation point (BC is before the birth of Christ and AD,
all the years after). The months July and August
were reportedly added at the egotistical decree of the Roman
emperors Julius and Augustus Caesar.


More Realities About Time
Everyone on earth, rich or poor is given the same 24 hours
in a day. (This is one of the few instances of the fairness
of the universe.)

Carl Sandburg says, "Time is the coin of your life. It is
the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it
will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it
for you."

Yes, we’ve heard it said that time is gold; and you can
spend it but not save it. And even if you had all the money
in the world, you couldn’t buy an extra second. Time keeps
moving forward and you can’t make it stand still (except
poetically, of course).

Henry van Dyke writes: "Time is too slow for those who wait,
too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve,
too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love,
time is eternity."


Killing Time And Other Myths
How often we hear people say, "Oh, I’m just killing time."

Alice Bloch retorts, "We say we waste time, but that is
impossible. We waste ourselves."

H. Jackson Brown advises, "Don’t say you don’t have enough
time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that
were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother
Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein."

Benjamin Franklin says: "Lost time is never found again."
With utmost respect to Mr. Franklin, I believe that we could
not actually lose time; we lose the opportunity. And it’s
really hard to find time; we must make time.

If we can’t buy, kill, lose or extend time, what can we do
with it? We can manage it.

Peter F. Drucker warns, "Time is the scarcest resource and
unless it is managed nothing else can be managed."


So Where Does Time Go?
When my friend asked, "If time keeps on rushing forward,
where does it go?" I actually laughed and cut short the
discussion. But the question haunted me all night. For how
do you answer such an enigmatic question? Time rushes; yes,
but where to? The question triggered other logical things
like, "If it goes somewhere, it must come from somewhere."

The truth is that time is actually on a different dimension.
It travels on the time plane that sort of runs parallel to
the physical or material plane. It is limited to a linear
movement and only flies from the past to the present and
hurries on to the future.

Now, this is where man differs from time. Man can live in
the present, imagine the future, and re-live the past!
Through his imagination, man can travel to different
time zones.

I venture to answer the question this way: Time goes to
the future but part of it settles in the hearts and minds
of people as remembered feelings and memories of that
particular moment.


The Gift Of Time
Three of the best gifts you can ever give or receive are
love, knowledge, and time...

What do you think?

Monday, June 5, 2006

Come Tomorrow





















While filing an e-report, it struck me that tomorrow will be
a significant day. Why?

Tomorrow is June 6, 2006, and at six minutes and six seconds
past six in the morning, the time stamp would read:

06/06/06 -- 06:06:06

So, what will you be doing at this date and time?

Overkilling on the Cock

:D
**Big Smile**

Okay, enough of that four-letter word, let's upgrade it
to seven instead.

Here's a bird that should elicit some pure thoughts.

A white peacock.















And an analogy about birds and the corporate world.





















However, as time went by,
The penguins began to murmur against Perry.

He was too loud, too colourful
and had too many new ideas
that intruded the penguins' comfort zone.















We see this story unfolds
in many organisations today.

Creativity and innovation are seen to be
"a breath of fresh air" in many organisations.

Many "Perrys" are recruited for their creativity.
Yet, along the way, their creativity is stifled by
the need to conform to the norm.


















The End

Friday, June 2, 2006

Man with a Big Cock

Bird Flu menace













How coincidental. I just posted the joke about
the bird, Mr Cock-a-doodle-doo, and the Star today
headlines the bird flu menace and that Malaysia
should not allow them birds to cross the border
in the wake of the recent escalating number of bird flu
cases in Indonesia. Read about it here

A Cock story

This is Friday, right? So, lighten up!















A Priest in a small rural town was very fond of the
ten chickens and handsome rooster he kept in a hen house
behind the rectory.

One Saturday night the Priest discovered that the
rooster was missing.

At the same time the Priest heard rumours of cockfights
being held in town.

Shocked and dismayed, he decided to say something
during Sunday Mass.

During Mass he asked the congregation,

"Who among you will confess to sporting a handsome
cock?"

All the men stood up.

"Who among you will confess to having seen a
handsome cock?"

All the women stood up.

"Oh, no," he said. "That's not what I mean, either.
Who among you will confess to having seen a cock
that doesn't belong to you?"

Half the women stood up.

"Oh Lord," he said.

"Perhaps I should rephrase the question. Has anybody
seen my cock?"

Watching the Da Vinci Code













Some of us go to a cinema to watch a movie;
Some of us go to a cinema to make a movie.
See what I mean below.

Inside the cinema

I'm glad it's Friday. I need the weekend to get my sanity back.
Have a wonderful weekend, Everyone.

Thursday, June 1, 2006

Rock Formation

What do you see?
Click on the picture to see the details.

Another Tragedy...Kuala Lumpur

Yes, another tragedy but this time it's closer home...
Kuala Lumpur itself. More precisely, it's just next door
to the National Zoo, if you are familiar with Kuala Lumpur.
National dailies carry the story on their frontpage today.






























Landslide in Ulu Klang
DISASTER: Two women died and two toddlers were listed missing when tonnes of earth flattened an Indonesian settlement of 160 homes near Taman Zooview, less than 2km from Highland Towers in Ulu Klang, on the outskirts of Kuala Lumpur.
More...The Star