Monday, October 9, 2006

Classes Strictly for Men

The email says I should send this to all the guys that I think can stand the heat, and to all the ladies for the best chuckle of their day! I'm doing just that...only better. I blog it.


SUMMER CLASSES FOR MEN
AT THE
"LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS"
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY
Monday, 30 October, 2006


NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.


Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.


Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.

Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00for 2 hours.


Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?

Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.


Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.

Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.


Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM


Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.

Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM


Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.

Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours..


Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.


Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost
Real Life Testimonials.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.


Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.

4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.


Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.

Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined.


Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.


Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important
Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.


Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.


Upon completion of any of the above courses,
diplomas will be issued to the survivors.



Actual source unknown

12 comments:

  1. LOL, Bad Bad Bad!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I should put this notice up in our house - some tenants really need some lessons! ;-P

    ReplyDelete
  3. WAHAHAHA

    i love this one!

    but i think they forgot to include one other class....HOW TO GIVE COMPLIMENTS SENSIBLY!

    LOL!

    i wanna help SOMEOBDY enrol!!!!!!!kekekeke

    ReplyDelete
  4. hei!! this is new to me. the sender must be from mars!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous10:33 AM

    This is interesting
    Muahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  6. haha.. man are born imperfect.

    ReplyDelete
  7. What is this thing about ice cube trays? I have NEVER had trouble filling ice cube trays!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous11:18 AM

    Someone sent me that before.. Very funny! Hehhee!

    ReplyDelete
  9. LB, oops!!

    YD, like Robin said, men are born imperfect. Women too but let's just say men are more imperfect. **LOL wickedly.....**

    PC, yeah, add that one too, please.

    ReplyDelete
  10. SF, wrong!! The sender must be from Venus - the Sex Goddess who is out to tame the Martians. LOL!

    Z, glad you see the lighter side of it.

    MM, are you serious? I think you must be an endangered species then as I've heard of guys who never fill up the ice-cube trays much to the chagrin of their womenfolk. **Sigh**

    Ian, you are a good sport!

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  11. MM, are you serious? I think you must be an endangered species then as I've heard of guys who never fill up the ice-cube trays much to the chagrin of their womenfolk.

    Or is it maybe a symptom of a hormone deficiency...?

    Word verification:
    Deficient, I may seem to be;
    Hormones don't always act properly.
    Will you say that I'm gay?
    Yet I still fill that tray!
    Maybe my wife intimidates me...

    ReplyDelete
  12. MM, that's a good one.

    Word verification:
    Deficiency, is it relative?
    I don't know anyone whose hormones aren't active.

    Understanding a woman's needs
    Can be as difficult as stringing beads.

    Zestful, stressful, at times mean;
    Craziest, zaniest, men have ever seen.

    ReplyDelete