Letter of Complaint

One of the good things of forwarded email is that you get to receive recycled good stuff sometimes. Take the following funny story, for instance. Have received this many times but it's still a good read for a good laugh each time.

It's a classic example of what can happen when one is a duck while the other is a chicken, a Chinese proverb indicating a language problem. This is hilarious but I hope no one gets offended though. It's only a joke. (Hump days are well... humpy!)


The following is a letter from disgruntled Italian guest to an English hotel director.

Dear Signore Direttore,

Now I am tell a you story wot I was a treated at your hotella.
I am a-comma from Roma as a younga Christian man at your hotella.

When I comma to my room, I see there is no sheet on my bed.
I call down to receptione and tella : 'I wanta sheet'.

They tella me : 'You go to toilet".

I say : 'No, no, you don't undestanda me. I wanta sheet in my bed".

They tella : 'You bettr not sheet in your bed, you sonna-wa-beach!"

What is 'sonna-wa-beach"?

I a-go downe for breakfast in ristorante. I order egg and bacon and two pieces of toast.

Butta I getta only one piece of toast.
I tella wait-ress and point at toast : "I wanta piece".

She tella me : 'You go to toilet'.

I say : 'No, no, I wanta piece in my plate!".

She scream : 'You bloody wella not piss on the plate! You go to toilet!".

Why is your staff always saying 'go to toilet?" Is that modern British tella?
You know, I am 23 years old and I knowe for myself when I wanta go to toilet.

Then in the evening I a-go downe to ristorante for dinner.
Spoon and knife is laid out on the table. But no fock".
I tella waitress : 'I wanta fock".

And she tella me : 'Sure, everybody wanta f%#k !".

I tella her : 'No, no you don't under-standa me. I wanta fock on the table".

She tella me : 'So, you wanta f%#k on the this table, huh? Get your ass out of here!'
How comma this Cristian hotella tella the guests in such a bad manner?
So I go downe to receptione and ask for bill. I no wanta stay in this hotel
nomorrow.

When I have a-paid the a-billa the porter say to me : 'Thank you, and peace on you".

I say : 'Piss on you too, you sonne-wa-beach !, I now go back to Italy".

Direttore, I never gonna stay in your hotella nomorrow, you sonna-wa-beach.

Sincerely,
Luigi B.,
Roma.