Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Letter to the Boss

Would you dare pull a stunt like this?


A Boss looking through his Mail Box was astonished to see a mail from an Employee who was supposed to be busy working at Client side on a critical project. It had the subject - "TaTa - Bye Bye". With the worst premonition he opened the mail and read the content with trembling hands:-


Dear Sir,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving the job. The offer was too lucritive and attractive for me to turn down. I had to abscond because I wanted to avoid a scene with the HR and you. I am sorry but I had no choice.

The project is working fine. There are only 108 issues pending, out of which only 38% issues are High Priority. Hence I am sure there is no need to worry about. The next Phase of major enhancements I have been working upon, have been completed halfway. I am sure the new person who would replace me would not understand what all I had done so far. Hence, for his and your convenience, I have taken care to remove all the work that I had been doing this far for nearly 3 months now. I am sure you will appreciate my insight and "big heart".

I am of course retaining the Originals that I had retrieved for the purpose of Passport verification with me, considering it as a parting gift from you. Ofcourse, I will not pay the bond amount that I owe the compnay (since I am breaking the bond). But I will consider this as a parting gift from our Dear company. I moving out of town since the new company is situated in another City.

Also, I have changed my contact number. So you will not be able to get in touch with me, to congratulate me. But I know your blessings are always with me.

Last but not the least. I also have the 7000 Rs entrusted to me by our company's cultural events group, for the upcoming movie event. I am sure you would have wanted me to keep it with myself as an added bonus from our company. I respect you very much, hence your wish is my command.

I thank you for that in advance, and assure you that I will surely invest them wisely (but not in your company's stocks of course).

Don't worry sir. I am 2 years experienced now, learning so much from your company. So I will surely use this knowledge to write better programs for the new company.
Someday I'm sure we will meet sometime in the future. If you wish, I will surely be glad to give my employee reference for you to apply for a job in the new company which I am joining.


Your faithful employee,

S. W. Engineer



At the bottom of the page were the letters "PS". Hands still trembling, the Boss read:

PS: Dearest Boss, none of the above is true. I'm am still busy working at client side. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my "Request to reconsider my Salary Appraisal" attached with this mail. Please approve it and call when it is safe for me to come to our Office to discuss this. My respect and Best Regards to you!


At the same time, you may also want to stick this at your place to let your boss know that you have character:



And at the end of the day, polish your boss's apple with this:

























All's well that ends well.

32 comments:

  1. aiyah i nearly got heart attack reading this post! it is never easy being a boss

    ReplyDelete
  2. SF, boss mah. Must have stronger shoulders and heart.

    FH2o, please refer to comment to SF above. haha..

    ReplyDelete
  3. the other side of the sign reads:

    "You Are Fired!"

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hmm...if only I were the boss....then I can feel it..now i can only feel the employee's pain. LOL

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  5. The fact of the boss always being "right" is probably one of the reasons why organized labor is so far left.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous9:36 PM

    Now... this is true to the bone...
    How can I get this message across to my ahem...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Boss isn’t always right. He is the one just to make the final decision. Sometimes need her/his staff’s advice.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Either that or he needs his staff to come up with "his" ideas for him, as is so often the case.

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  9. Robin, I doubt if any employee has the audacity to write anything like this. It's like blackmail or simply not a nice thing to do to say the least.

    RS, no doubt this is a subtle message for recognition. I think this is real that bosses sometimes just do not see the good work employees do thus not showing any recognition. Or worse still, they see the good work but do not believe in giving due recognition. Sad case here.

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  10. The fact of the boss always being "right" is probably one of the reasons why organized labor is so far left.

    MM, I absolutely agree. Unfortunately, there are bosses who are like that even in this time and age. Incredible!

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  11. Z, haha.. at the risk of being blacklisted?

    PP, I think the phrase "The boss is always right" refers more to the boss being the authority - the highest order if you may, or the one paying the salary - thus has the last say. The boss is not always right, literally. He's only human afterall.

    MM, yeah, some bosses do need their staff to come up with "his" ideas.

    ReplyDelete
  12. PP, noticed your avatar or profile picture. Nice.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous10:37 PM

    I've been there. I recently went as far as creating an office humor satire website to deal with the frustration. I copyright it and have a disclaimer of course... hint hint :)


    The office Humor.com

    ReplyDelete
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