From Where I am.........Kuala Lumpur

Thursday, July 20, 2006

One for the Piggies

Today is not only Moon Day and Fortune Cookie Day, let's also
dedicate today to the Pigs or perhaps they have their own day too? Skip that ham sandwich, will ya?

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Professors' Definitions Of Kiss
Professors of different subjects define the same word in different ways:

Prof. of Computer Science:
A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into a byte.

Prof. of Algebra:
A kiss is two divided by nothing.

Prof. of Geometry:
A kiss is the shortest distance between two straight lines.

Prof. of Physics:
A kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the
heart.

Prof. of Chemistry:
A kiss is the reaction of the interaction between two hearts.

Prof. of Zoology:
A kiss is the interchange of unisexual salivary bacteria.

Prof. of Physiology:
A kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicularis oris muscles in
the state of contraction.

Prof. of Dentistry:
A kiss is infectious and antiseptic.

Prof. of Accountancy:
A kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.

Prof. of Economics:
A kiss is that thing for which the demand is higher than the
supply.

Prof. of Statistics:
A kiss is an event whose probability depends on the vital
statistics of 36-24-36.

Prof. of Philosophy:
A kiss is the persecution for the child,ecstasy for the youth
and homage for the old.

Prof. of English:
A kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction; it is more
common than proper; it is spoken; in the plural and it is
applicable to all.

Prof. of Engineering:
Uh, What? I'm not familiar with that term.

And Prof of Love, Robin:
A kiss is a necessity.
_______________________

And here's what the experts say about a Kiss.

It's all in a KISS! The body part where you love to kiss most reflects your personality type. Now which part do you love to kiss most? And be honest.

1) Forehead
2) Eyes
3) Nose
4) Face
5) Ear
6) Lips
7) Neck

The following is your personality:

Forehead:
You have a strong passion for life and at the same time a peaceful nature. Though you are a forgiving person, you demand respect from other people. Your talents are expressed well and you have good interpersonal skills. As such, you have a fulfilling social life and your friends around you will find you to be gentle and understanding.

Eyes:
You are die-hard Romeo who requires lots of love and you can sacrifice everything for love as well. You express your love in a wild and passionate way. However, you are equally capable of becoming a vicious lover, manipulating your partner to achieve certain selfish goals.

Nose:
In a relationship, sex is something essential to you! You value friendship, loyalty and you have a strong desire for love and sex. You are playful by nature and you cannot stay long at a place without feeling uneasy. As a result, it is very difficult for you to establish a strong foundation for your career and it is advisable that you do not change your job with no strong reasons.

Face:
You value peace above all other things and friends are very important to you. You willingly share all your prized possessions with them and you are not easily bothered if you are short-changed. Also, you have a kind heart and you try not to harbor bad thoughts about other people. Maintaining a long lasting and affectionate relationship is your forte

Ear:
As a very understanding person, you can accurately guess what is on a person's mind. You posses a disposition to appreciate or share the feelings and thoughts of others. However, you can also be someone who cracks jokes at the expense of others and in wanting to achieve your goals, you can easily sacrifice others. Towards relationships, you are not affected by emotional constraints and is very expressive. Your behavior is 100% congruent with your inner feelings.

Lips:
You are someone who is governed by a great sense of loyalty. When you kiss someone's lips, you are actually expressing the hope of having one true love. Always radiating an aura of confidence, you are someone with very strong moral codes.

Neck:
Flirtatious by nature, you are unlikely to be someone that dreams of everla! sting love. Although your passion for things is very strong, it fades away in just a while. Even when you are no longer in love with your partner, you selfishly demand him/her to love you still. You are unlikely to have great ambitions towards your own life and you are not particular about gender roles.

In Case of Emergency

This message is making its rounds again with the recent
mishaps happening in parts of the world.

Following the disaster in London, their Ambulance Service
launched a national "In case of Emergency (ICE)" campaign.

The idea is that you store the word " I C E " in your mobile
phone address book, and against it enter the number of the
person you would want to be contacted "In Case of Emergency".

In an emergency situation, ambulance and hospital staff will
then be able to quickly find out who your next of kin is and
be able to contact him or her. It's so simple that everyone
can do it.

For more than one contact name, you could use ICE1, ICE2, ICE3, etc.

I thought this is useful to share.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Messages on Answering Machines

Do you have something better than these I could borrow?

1.
My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.

2.
Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone now because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right...real slowly. So leave a message and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll get back to you.

3.
A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.

4.
Hi, this is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

5.
Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and used by us.

6.
Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

7.
Hi. Now you say something .

8.
Hello. I'm David's answering machine. What are you?

9.
Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is the refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

10.
Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need tiles, windows or a hot tub and their carpets are clean. They give to charities through the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

11.
This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you and I'll think about returning your call.

12.
(In a bored voice) Heaven, God speaking...

13.
Greetings, you have reached the 6th Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.

14.
Hi. This is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message and wait by your phone until I call you back.

15.
If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's safe to leave us a message.

16.
This is the Devil. Who in Hell do you want?

Friday, July 14, 2006

Fortune Cookie and Others

This post was actually started in the morning but more pressing matters took precedence. Anyway, I'm glad it's Friday again. Did you know that tomorrow has been designated Cow Appreciation Day? Gee, I wonder how in the world are these designations made. Who's the authority? But, no matter, it adds a little spice to life.

Well, have a jolly moo-velous day tomorrow, July 15.

And Sunday, July 16, is Ice Cream Cone Day.

July 18 is Chrysanthemum Day.
Here are two to beautify your day!

July 20 is Moon Day

July 20 is also Fortune Cookie Day.

Send a friend a fortune cookie card.

Friday, July 21, is Monkey Day. And how time flies. It is Friday again!

Happy monkeying around.

And, in case, it's your birthday today, July 14,

Thursday, July 13, 2006

I'm 100 and a Half

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five!

That's the key. You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . you become 21.

Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS !!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed? You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40.

Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would! So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.

And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; I Was JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!