Let's take a breather for some lighter moments. I apologise I've been bombarding you, my patient and supportive blog-friends, with some dry material although some of it may be good reading and informative. To tell you the truth, I've learnt quite a bit from all this blog advertising. Have you decided to join in yet? The PayPerPost icon on the sidebar is waiting for your click.
Enjoy these in the meantime.
Teacher: "Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?"
Simon: "No, teacher, it's the same dog!"
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Teacher: "Your hair is very untidy. Why did you not comb it before coming to school?"
Boy: "No comb, Sir."
Teacher: "Use your dad's then."
Boy: "No hair, Sir."
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Teacher: "Where were you born?"
Student: "Singapore, Sir."
Teacher: "Which part?"
Student: "All of me, Sir."
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Teacher: "Chong, you missed school last Friday."
Chong : "You're wrong, Sir."
Teacher: "Wrong, how is that?"
Chong : "I was absent, yes but I certainly didn't miss it!"
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Father: "Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!"
Son: "That's why I say she's no good!"
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Teacher: "Class, what is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?"
Joan: " 'Unlawful' is when you do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal" is a sick eagle."
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Doctor: "I have some bad news and some very bad news."
Patient: "Well, might as well give me the bad news first."
Doctor: "The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live."
Patient: "24 hours! That's terrible!! What could be worse? What's the very bad news?"
Doctor : "I've been trying to reach you since yesterday."
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Patient: "How much to have this tooth pulled?"
Dentist: "$90.00."
Patient: "$90.00 for just a few minutes work???"
Dentist: "I can extract it very slowly if you like."
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1st thief : "Oh! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window"
2nd thief : "But this is the 13th floor."
1st thief : "Hurry! This is no time for superstitions."
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Wife: "Do you love me?"
Husband: "Yes, dear."
Wife: "Would you die for me?"
Husband: "No, dear. Mine is undying love."
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Stranded Whale Saved
Once in a while, we get animals being trapped in our shallow waters. This time, it's a whale and I'm glad the stranded whale has been helped out to sea and I hope it's doing fine. Poor thing. See below for the full story.
FREEING LUULUMBO: Tourists, rescuers and Pulau Gaya villagers trying to free a Bryde's whale, known to Kadazans as Luulumbo, that was trapped in shallow waters between Pulau Gaya and Pulau Sapi off Kota Kinabalu on Friday. After numerous attempts, divers and a tugboat managed to set it free. It was towed to deeper waters at 7.45pm.
More...The Star
FREEING LUULUMBO: Tourists, rescuers and Pulau Gaya villagers trying to free a Bryde's whale, known to Kadazans as Luulumbo, that was trapped in shallow waters between Pulau Gaya and Pulau Sapi off Kota Kinabalu on Friday. After numerous attempts, divers and a tugboat managed to set it free. It was towed to deeper waters at 7.45pm.
More...The Star
Buying Property Overseas
There's so much to see and experience in life and there are so many places to visit and soak up the local culture. Joining tour packages only allow one to just pass through or stay for just a day or two which does not allow one to really enjoy and appreciate the place and its people.
That's why I think to be able to enjoy a place and its people, one has to stay there for sometime perhaps months on end and if the place is really nice, stay on indefinitely, who knows. I've always been fascinated by Europe particularly Spain with its rich history. And if I were to be looking for a property in Spain, this would be the website I'd go to.
The site has a wide variety of properties as well as a comprehensive property buying guide not only for Spain but for many other countries.
Garfield on Being Fat
Some people are very lucky to be able to eat anything and at any amount without adding an ounce to their weight while others just add on even on a diet. I have friends who keep buying new clothes to suit their new body instead of maintaining their body to fit their current clothes. And then there are others who make excuses for their wideness. They sure have a good friend in Garfield.
Money Saving Advice
Proper financial control does wonders to our bank accounts. Get some advice from The Thrifty Scot which offers advice and tips on how to save money using credit cards, loans, mortgages, bank accounts and insurance.
Credit cards
Not all credit cards are the same. Now is the best time to compare credit cards that will suit your finances. There is the balance transfer credit card, the cash back credit card and there's also one that offers 0% on purchases for a limited time.
Caution should be used when using a credit card as the ability to find yourself in serious debt can occur. One of the biggest mistakes that can be made is by keeping to the credit card minimum payment. This can be devastating to your finances and should be avoided at all costs. By simply paying an extra few dollars or pounds each month to your balance, the interest payment period can be reduced by years.
Secured Loans
Everyone needs to borrow money at some stage in their life, so why not do it sensibly. Many people waste money on not searching for a loan that offers the lowest interest or they don’t take enough care in making sure they can afford the repayments.
There are various loans one can raise money such as secured loans, unsecured loans, debt consolidation loans and even poor credit loans for people with a poor credit rating.
Mortgages
Many homeowners are unaware how much they could save by simply switching their mortgage for a better deal. Remortgages are popular and it is possible to save thousands by remortgaging.
Savings accounts
Banking and savings are what we all use but more often than not we do not seek out the best buys. By simply changing to a new savings or current account your finances could be given a much welcome boost.
Online banking has boomed in recent years and to get the best bank account try to compare offers online.
Home insurance
There are still too many people that use one insurance company and do not shop around. These people lose hundreds of dollars each year on expensive insurance policies. Make sure you are not one of them. You can shop around for the best car insurance quote, life insurance, home insurance or cheap travel insurance.
When choosing home and contents insurance make sure you do not under insure your property and contents to get a lower premium as this can backfire when you come to make a claim.
Visit the Thrifty Scot for more information on how you can save more money. Their latest financial news is updated daily as well as comments and opinions on events in the financial marketplace and how these affect the consumer.
Credit cards
Not all credit cards are the same. Now is the best time to compare credit cards that will suit your finances. There is the balance transfer credit card, the cash back credit card and there's also one that offers 0% on purchases for a limited time.
Caution should be used when using a credit card as the ability to find yourself in serious debt can occur. One of the biggest mistakes that can be made is by keeping to the credit card minimum payment. This can be devastating to your finances and should be avoided at all costs. By simply paying an extra few dollars or pounds each month to your balance, the interest payment period can be reduced by years.
Secured Loans
Everyone needs to borrow money at some stage in their life, so why not do it sensibly. Many people waste money on not searching for a loan that offers the lowest interest or they don’t take enough care in making sure they can afford the repayments.
There are various loans one can raise money such as secured loans, unsecured loans, debt consolidation loans and even poor credit loans for people with a poor credit rating.
Mortgages
Many homeowners are unaware how much they could save by simply switching their mortgage for a better deal. Remortgages are popular and it is possible to save thousands by remortgaging.
Savings accounts
Banking and savings are what we all use but more often than not we do not seek out the best buys. By simply changing to a new savings or current account your finances could be given a much welcome boost.
Online banking has boomed in recent years and to get the best bank account try to compare offers online.
Home insurance
There are still too many people that use one insurance company and do not shop around. These people lose hundreds of dollars each year on expensive insurance policies. Make sure you are not one of them. You can shop around for the best car insurance quote, life insurance, home insurance or cheap travel insurance.
When choosing home and contents insurance make sure you do not under insure your property and contents to get a lower premium as this can backfire when you come to make a claim.
Visit the Thrifty Scot for more information on how you can save more money. Their latest financial news is updated daily as well as comments and opinions on events in the financial marketplace and how these affect the consumer.
Haircut
Read this. See if you know anyone like this hairdresser. No matter, have a good laugh.
A New York woman was at her East Side hairdresser getting her hair styled prior to a trip to Rome with her boyfriend. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go Rome? It's crowded and dirty and worse yet, full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome."
"So, how are you getting there"?
"We're flying on Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"Continental"? exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly and they're always late."
"So, where are you staying in Rome"?
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's left side called Trieste..."
"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it's gonna be something special and exclusive. But it's really a dump. The worst hotel in the whole city!The rooms are small, the service is surly and they're way overpriced."
"So, whatcha doing when you get there"?
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope." "That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're sure going to need it."
A month later, the woman, all smiling, came in for her hair appointment. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.
"It was absolutely wonderful," explained the woman. "Not only did we arrive on time in one of Continental's brand new jets, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel. It was fabulous! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job and now it's just a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the hairdresser. "I know you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky. As we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to personally meet some of the visitors and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Holy Father walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."
"Really"? asked the hairdresser. "What'd he say"?
He said, "Where did you get that horrible haircut"?
A New York woman was at her East Side hairdresser getting her hair styled prior to a trip to Rome with her boyfriend. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go Rome? It's crowded and dirty and worse yet, full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome."
"So, how are you getting there"?
"We're flying on Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"Continental"? exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly and they're always late."
"So, where are you staying in Rome"?
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's left side called Trieste..."
"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it's gonna be something special and exclusive. But it's really a dump. The worst hotel in the whole city!The rooms are small, the service is surly and they're way overpriced."
"So, whatcha doing when you get there"?
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope." "That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're sure going to need it."
A month later, the woman, all smiling, came in for her hair appointment. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.
"It was absolutely wonderful," explained the woman. "Not only did we arrive on time in one of Continental's brand new jets, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel. It was fabulous! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job and now it's just a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the hairdresser. "I know you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky. As we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to personally meet some of the visitors and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Holy Father walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."
"Really"? asked the hairdresser. "What'd he say"?
He said, "Where did you get that horrible haircut"?
Christmas Online Games
I'm really looking forward to the Christmas holidays. It's a gazetted holiday here plus I'm taking some extra time bank hours so there'll be plenty of free time on my hands. This will allow me more time to blog and play some online games.
Found out that Blue Mountain now has a variety of Christmas online games that also double as eCards that you can send out to family and friends. They are all Flash-based, pretty interactive and are very entertaining. Here are a few that I enjoy playing:
Elf Toss Game
This is one of Blue Mountain’s newest Christmas online games. This is a great game. The objective of the game is to see how far you can have a team of two elves launch a third elf across a frozen pond.
Mistletoe Tag
Here's a game of luck to see how many kisses you can steal under the mistletoe.
And here's one for the kids, Christmas Matchup. The aim is to match up a pair of dalmatians.
Another easy one is Catch a Snowflake. Ever tried catching snowflakes on your tongue? In this game, just use your mouse to move the guy left or right to catch the snowflakes as they tumble down.
These eCards are all great Christmas online games that you can share with your friends, coworkers and family. You can also play them yourself before you send them out!
In addition to playing the games for free, you can also sign up for a free 30-day trial to send unlimited eCards and a yearly eCards subscription is only $13.99. Isn't this a much cheaper alternative to sending paper cards especially when you are running out of time to go shopping for them? Membership to Blue Mountain allows users to schedule eCards to arrive on a specific date, so you can personalize a Christmas eCard now and schedule it to be sent out instantly or on Christmas Day. Neat, eh?
Found out that Blue Mountain now has a variety of Christmas online games that also double as eCards that you can send out to family and friends. They are all Flash-based, pretty interactive and are very entertaining. Here are a few that I enjoy playing:
Elf Toss Game
This is one of Blue Mountain’s newest Christmas online games. This is a great game. The objective of the game is to see how far you can have a team of two elves launch a third elf across a frozen pond.
Mistletoe Tag
Here's a game of luck to see how many kisses you can steal under the mistletoe.
And here's one for the kids, Christmas Matchup. The aim is to match up a pair of dalmatians.
Another easy one is Catch a Snowflake. Ever tried catching snowflakes on your tongue? In this game, just use your mouse to move the guy left or right to catch the snowflakes as they tumble down.
These eCards are all great Christmas online games that you can share with your friends, coworkers and family. You can also play them yourself before you send them out!
In addition to playing the games for free, you can also sign up for a free 30-day trial to send unlimited eCards and a yearly eCards subscription is only $13.99. Isn't this a much cheaper alternative to sending paper cards especially when you are running out of time to go shopping for them? Membership to Blue Mountain allows users to schedule eCards to arrive on a specific date, so you can personalize a Christmas eCard now and schedule it to be sent out instantly or on Christmas Day. Neat, eh?
Flying in Class
Weekends always bring forth the lighter side of life where we can put the stress of worklife behind us and take time to do some of the things we love, such as meeting up with friends for brunch or lunch, whichever suits our fancy and time. Came back home to find this little joke in my mailbox.
An airplane is flying over the United States at night. The pilot says:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, the plane is losing altitude and all the baggage must be thrown out."
A little later, the pilot says "We're still losing altitude,we must throw everything out that is in the cabin".
The plane continues its descent despite more things being thrown out.
Pilot: "Still going down - we must throw out some people".
There's a big gasp from the passengers!
Pilot: "But to make this fair, passengers will be thrown out in alphabetical order.
So... A... any Africans on board?" No one moves.
"B... any Blacks on board?" No one moves.
"C... any Caribbeans on board?" Still, no one moves.
A little black boy - asks his dad: "Dad,...what are we?
Dad: " Tonight son, we are Zulus!"
An airplane is flying over the United States at night. The pilot says:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, the plane is losing altitude and all the baggage must be thrown out."
A little later, the pilot says "We're still losing altitude,we must throw everything out that is in the cabin".
The plane continues its descent despite more things being thrown out.
Pilot: "Still going down - we must throw out some people".
There's a big gasp from the passengers!
Pilot: "But to make this fair, passengers will be thrown out in alphabetical order.
So... A... any Africans on board?" No one moves.
"B... any Blacks on board?" No one moves.
"C... any Caribbeans on board?" Still, no one moves.
A little black boy - asks his dad: "Dad,...what are we?
Dad: " Tonight son, we are Zulus!"
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