Good Clean Jokes

Let's take a breather for some lighter moments. I apologise I've been bombarding you, my patient and supportive blog-friends, with some dry material although some of it may be good reading and informative. To tell you the truth, I've learnt quite a bit from all this blog advertising. Have you decided to join in yet? The PayPerPost icon on the sidebar is waiting for your click.

Enjoy these in the meantime.

Teacher: "Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?"
Simon: "No, teacher, it's the same dog!"

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Teacher: "Your hair is very untidy. Why did you not comb it before coming to school?"
Boy: "No comb, Sir."
Teacher: "Use your dad's then."
Boy: "No hair, Sir."

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Teacher: "Where were you born?"
Student: "Singapore, Sir."
Teacher: "Which part?"
Student: "All of me, Sir."

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Teacher: "Chong, you missed school last Friday."
Chong : "You're wrong, Sir."
Teacher: "Wrong, how is that?"
Chong : "I was absent, yes but I certainly didn't miss it!"

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Father: "Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!"
Son: "That's why I say she's no good!"

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Teacher: "Class, what is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?"
Joan: " 'Unlawful' is when you do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal" is a sick eagle."

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Doctor: "I have some bad news and some very bad news."
Patient: "Well, might as well give me the bad news first."
Doctor: "The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live."
Patient: "24 hours! That's terrible!! What could be worse? What's the very bad news?"
Doctor : "I've been trying to reach you since yesterday."

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Patient: "How much to have this tooth pulled?"
Dentist: "$90.00."
Patient: "$90.00 for just a few minutes work???"
Dentist: "I can extract it very slowly if you like."

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1st thief : "Oh! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window"
2nd thief : "But this is the 13th floor."
1st thief : "Hurry! This is no time for superstitions."

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Wife: "Do you love me?"
Husband: "Yes, dear."
Wife: "Would you die for me?"
Husband: "No, dear. Mine is undying love."