Thursday, May 25, 2006

Impressing a Woman

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN
1. Compliment her.
2. Respect her.
3. Honor her.
4. Cuddle her.
5. Kiss her.
6. Caress her.
7. Love her.
8. Stroke her.
9. Tease her.
10. Comfort her.
11. Protect her.
12. Hug her.
13. Hold her.
14. Spend money on her.
15. Wine and dine her.
16. Listen to her.
17. Care for her.
18. Stand by her.
19. Support her.
20. Go to the ends of the Earth for her.


HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
1. Show up naked.
2. Bring food.


You've got the list, so tell me whether it's true.

20 comments:

  1. woW wOw WOW wow .. .. . impressive!!!

    I am impressed! :)))

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  2. HOW TO IMPRESS EITHER A MAN OR A WOMAN OR BOTH AT THE SAME TIME:

    Drop a 50-ton weight on top of them. I assure you that they'll be impressed right into the ground.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous12:03 AM

    well *ahem* its whatever you like to hear hehehehe ....

    ReplyDelete
  4. ... and the next question would be,
    How to INFLATE either a man or a woman?

    Moody is an expert on this.


    (the word verification shows "bbcgdp", interesting how BBC has grown so BIG nowadays!)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Depends on who show up naked and bringing what food lah..

    Cannot imagine a 80 years old woman carrying rotten tomatoes full of flies..

    Pui..

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  6. Can I add;

    Give her a 10 carat diamond
    Drive a red sport car and pick her up from the crowd!

    hehehe..

    ReplyDelete
  7. Low, hope you didn't think this is my list though I agree with a few of them in the first list. Are you getting any hints now to impress the lady of your dreams? hehe......

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  8. MM, you are impressive! Always ready with a 50-tonner to get everyone and everything really literally down to earth.

    Slurp!, so true, as in "tell me what you wanna hear, baby, and I'll say it". But amazingly, some people buy that. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

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  9. YD, first comes 'impress' followed by 'inflate'.

    MM, your cue.

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  10. AFT, probably they are simply not interested in the game at all.

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  11. Robin, Robin, not everyone is impressed with material things lah, though I must admit money is sexy.

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  12. How to inflate a man or a woman? It depends on who you ask:

    A deprived male would say: "Look for the little plastic tube, pop the top off, and blow into it till she's inflated. It's in the little instruction book that comes with her."

    A pimp would say: "Make her more popular and less available. More demand, less supply...definitely leads to inflation!"

    A cynical, disillusioned male would say: "Give her too many gifts and compliments, and she'll DEFINITELY get inflated. Bloody spoiled, actually..."

    A cynical, disillusioned woman would say: "Oh, yeah? Well even ONE compliment will make a guy's ego inflate...and then one well-aimed rip will bring him right back down into the dirt. He he he he!"

    The same cynical, disillusioned man as before then says: "Oh, I suppose you think you actually matter!"

    The same cynical, disillusioned woman as before replies: "What? I thought I heard something! Did the sewer line burst? It sure SMELLS like it!!!

    Both cynical, disillusioned types start trading obscenities.

    50-ton weight says: THUMP!

    Sexy, sensual woman says: "Mm hm hm...I'll show you how to inflate a man, big boy!"

    Her cosmetic surgeon says: "Hey, I already did a pretty good job of inflating her, didn't I?"

    Some British General that just walked on set for no reason: "Alright, Mr. Minstrel, time to wrap it up. This is getting much too silly!"

    The Moody Minstrel finishes by saying: "Wait a minute...did YD insult me?"

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  13. Well, well, Mr Minstrel, I think you've pretty much covered all the bases. Good job! (It only goes to show that the 'silly' British General has a lot to learn about inflationary issues. tsk tsk!)

    I'm sure YD meant it as a compliment. Right, YD?

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  14. How To Impress A Man ...
    well this man anyway *ahem*

    3. Go kayaking with him ... (oh yes ideally with 1. and 2. as well!!!)

    ... lame ;)

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  15. Why would I would want to impress anyone?

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  16. LOL... moody!! If you continue at this rate, I would laugh till my stomach inflate!!

    haha... I expect some wacky answers will come from you, moody, but did not foresee the scale of it!

    Now time to go inflate my brain...

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  17. FH2o, I can imagine Adam and Eve with an apple. Throw in a miniature ark.

    Pandabonium, so that you'd be a slave forever.

    MM, there you go. YD has inflated your ego. Attagirl! YD.

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  18. [Big, ear-to-ear smile...hoping no one pulls the plug]

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  19. this is funnny too@@

    u did not write this, did u? haha

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  20. MM, I'll let you enjoy the inflation. hehe...

    Winn, no, I didn't draw these up though I agree with a few, just a few. If I have my own list, nah....forget it.

    ReplyDelete