Female Dictionary

Have you guys ever wondered why it's rather difficult
at times communicating with your womenfolk? No worries,
here's a guide to help you gain more understanding.

Actully, we women are easy to understand. Really.















Come on. Stay focussed! Nevermind those legs!

"Fine"
This is the word a woman uses at the end of any argument
that they feel they are right about but need to shut you up.
NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause
you to have one of those arguments.

"Five minutes"
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes
that your ootball game is going to last before you take out
the rubbish, so they eel that it's an even trade.

"Nothing"
This means something and you should be on your toes.
"Nothing" is sually used to describe the feeling a woman
has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, backwards,
or all three. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that
will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".

"Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows):
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset
over Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

"Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows):
This means "I give up" or "Do what you want because I don't care".
You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes,
followed by Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about
"Five Minutes" when she cools off.

"Loud Sigh"
This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement
very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are
an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time
standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

"Soft Sigh"
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are
one of the few things that some men actually understand.
She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and
she will stay content.

















Hey guys! Concentrate. Not the picture. Jeez!


"Oh!"
This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example;
"Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about that
you were doing last night". If she says "Oh" before a statement,
RUN (do not walk) to the nearest exit. She will tell you that
she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the
window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days.
"Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are
caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or
you will get raised eyebrows, "Go ahead", followed by acts so
unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about them.

"That's Okay"
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman
can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think
long and hard before paying you retributions for whatever it is
that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word
"Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow and
"Go Ahead". At some point in the near future when she has
plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

"Please Do"
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you
the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have
for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair
chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a
"That's Okay".

"Thanks"
The woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say "you're welcome".

"Thanks A Lot!!"
This is very different to "Thanks". A woman will say,
"Thanks A Lot!!" when she is REALLY pi*sed off at you.
It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way,
and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to
ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as she will
only tell you "Nothing".

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