Today's the Viewing

An old man, Mr. Goldstein, was living the last of his life in a nursing home. One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked if there was anything wrong.

"Yes, Nurse Tracy," said Mr. Goldstein, "My Private Part died today, and I am very sad."

Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Goldstein, please accept my condolences.

The following day, Mr Goldstein was walking down the hall with his Private Part hanging out of his pajamas, when he met Nurse Tracy.

"Mr. Goldstein," she said, "You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that.. Please put your "Private Part" back inside your pajamas."

"But, Nurse Tracy," replied Mr. Goldstein, " I told you yesterday that my Private Part "died."

"Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?"

You gotta love this!!!!!!!!!!!

"Well," he replied, "Today's the viewing."

Classes Strictly for Men

The email says I should send this to all the guys that I think can stand the heat, and to all the ladies for the best chuckle of their day! I'm doing just that...only better. I blog it.


SUMMER CLASSES FOR MEN
AT THE
"LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS"
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY
Monday, 30 October, 2006

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours..

Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost
Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined.

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important
Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses,
diplomas will be issued to the survivors.


Actual source unknown

Help Feed the Hungry

HELP FEED THE HUNGRY -- Click here daily.

Hazy, Lazy Monday

Woke up this morning feeling fine
Had something special on my mind....

Then the haze took over everything.

The weatherman says it's gonna be a hazy day today.
The sun was trying to shine through and the resultant egg-yolk in the sky - a hangover from the Mooncake Festival the week before probably.




Kuala Lumpur skyline is nowhere to be found. Look, Ma, no KL, so I'm going back to bed.

The rain has just started. Goody! Hopefully Kuala Lumpur would be back to normal again like this....

Oh no! The rain has just stopped as quickly as it came. No matter, hope today will be like what the picture below says. Have a really nice day!

The Mooncake Festival

Today, October 6, is the Mid-Autumn Festival or popularly known as the Mooncake Festival or the Lantern Festival. So let me wish all who celebrate a Happy Mid-Autumn/Mooncake/Lantern Festival.

I found a nice article from The Westin brochure which covers what the festival is all about and how it is celebrated. You may also want to visit Robin's blog for some nice pictures and more detailed information.






This is the history of how it all began.


























Source of text and picture:The Westin Kuala Lumpur

Be Puzzled

Let's do some self-exploration and brain-exercises today. The last time we did it was some months back in relation to the birds and the trees (not bees).


What do your colour choices say about you? Click below to find out.

http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/index.htm


And this one is a puzzle:

There are three houses. One is red, one is blue and one is white. If the red house is at the left of the house in the middle and the blue house is to the right to the house in the middle, Where is the white house?


Think !!!






Answer is...





You said, "White house is in the middle"?


No !!!







Answer is .....................


White house is in Washington DC.














One more:

Eighty percent of Kindergarteners solved this riddle, but only 5% of Stanford graduates figured it out! Can you answer the following question?

1. The word has seven letters...
2. Precedes God...
3. Greater than God...
4. More Evil than the devil...
5. All poor people have it...
6. Wealthy people need it...
7. If you eat it, you will die! Did you figure it out?

Try hard before looking at the answers. Did you get it yet??




...Give up?











Brace yourself for the answer....

















The Answer is: NOTHING!
>NOTHING has 7 letters
>NOTHING precedes God
>NOTHING is greater than God
>NOTHING is more Evil than the devil
>All poor people have NOTHING
>Wealthy people need NOTHING
>If you eat NOTHING, you will die


Okay, breaktime is over. Get back to work...

Gotcha!

The mind is quicker than the eye. So quick that it jumps to conclusions.

Someone has come up with this little cheeky compilation. What do you think these are? Take a closer look at each one of them. Don't they look familiar? Oh yeah, your imagination running wild, doesn't it? These are actually very innocent close-up shots. Sorry to disappoint you. See for yourself.

















Somehow, I was not able to upload the last two images but I can tell you what they really are.

The second last one is actually a frog having a worm in its mouth (yummy!); while the last picture is one end of a fried frankfurter.

Now you know! What were you thinking?!

Outside My Window...

This is a nice little poem that I could use for a reminder.

Outside my window, a new day I see,
and only I can determine what kind of day it will be.
It can be busy and sunny, laughing and gay,
or boring and cold, unhappy and grey.

My own state of mind is the determining key,
for I am only the person I let myself be.
I can be thoughtful and do all I can to help,
or be selfish and think just of myself.

I can enjoy what I do and make it seem fun,
or gripe and complain and make it hard on someone.
I can be patient with those who may not understand,
or belittle and hurt them as much as I can.

But I have faith in myself, and believe what I say,
I personally intend to make the best of each day.

Author unknown