Solving mid-life crisis & more

Long time no laugh? Let's begin..

I have been married 40 years. I took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 40 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, no car, no TV, no money and slept on a sofa bed, but I got to sleep every night with a hot good-looking 18 year old. Now, we have a beautiful house, two nice cars, king size bed, money and a 50" screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 58-year-old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot beautiful 18-year-old girl... and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, with no car, no money, and sleeping on a sofa bed.

Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve your mid-life crisis.

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Here's a really hilarious letter written by an eligible Malayali (Keralite) bachelor!

Madam,
Saprem Namaskaram !

I am an olden young uncle living only with myself in Thiruvananthapuram. Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely.

I am a soiled son from inside Kerala. I am nice and big, six foot tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket and I am a good batter and I am fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a lot.

I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am jolly. I am gay. Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. I am always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top. That is how nice I am.

I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the gym and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the gym.

I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you. I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking things into my own hands everyday. That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my things into your hand. If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day. In fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the gym.

If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet and looking up with lots of hope. I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.

Yours truly,
sd......................

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Want some more?

The story goes that...
This happened in Jeddah Airport in Saudi Arabia.

One Indian passenger named Anantharaman Subbaraman arrived at Jeddah airport. He ended up waiting for his visa for about 2 hrs for the authorities to call his name.

Finally, he got wild and went to the Saudi authorities and shouted why they haven't called his name yet. They retaliated & claimed that they have been calling him for the last hour and a half ......... and were wondering why he hadn't responded!

The reason was made clear when the Saudi immigration officer announced his name again on the microphone as : 'Anotherman Superman'

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...and talk about names,


Okay, now get back to work!

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Disclaimer: All the above were received via email with no original source provided. Any similarity to any person or event is purely coincidental.
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