Marriage - - A 5-part Insight

As a follow-up from comments from the previous post,
see what can happen if the wrong wine is chosen?


Marriage - - A 5-part Insight


Marriage - Part I

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after
the wedding, he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home
when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't
expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be
on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.
I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when
I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time
about it.

Those are my rules. Any comments?"


His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand
that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night ......
whether you're here or not."


(DAMN SHE'S GOOD!)


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Marriage (Part II)

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th
wedding anniversary! The husband yells, "When you die, I'm
getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "


"Yeah?" she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a
headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last"


(HE ASKED FOR IT!)


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Marriage (Part III)

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the
breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And
you are no good in bed either!" and storms out of the house.
After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make
amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many
rings, and the irritated husband says, "what took you so long
to answer the phone?"


She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"


(YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)


******************************************
Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife,
"Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night, they go
to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and
wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.


He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother
of Six?' His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion,
shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

(RIGHT ON, LADY!)


**************************************
Marriage (Part V) The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were
giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man
realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him
at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting
to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on
a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where
he knew she would find it.


The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM

and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see
why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper
by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

(AH! THE INTRICACIES OF COMMUNICATION!!)


_______________________________________________



Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. God may have
created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before
the masterpiece.

SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN
YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT!

- Source unknown -