Thursday, November 24, 2005

Drive-through Teller Machines

Like they say "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus".
A colleague forwarded me this to drive home the point.

A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research,
MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed.

Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.

MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

***********************************************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE LADIES YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT!

6 comments:

  1. Very funny. As a male I think I'd have to be very brave to send this to a woman!

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  2. Pandabonium, oh, it's okay - we do that all the time. Here in Malaysia, we're rather free about sexist jokes (not the extreme ones though).

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  3. Actually step No.20 is quite impossible, Malaysian driver likes bumper to bumper crawl...annoying, really!

    I did step No. 26&27 when i first learn how to drive :) Guess automatic gear it's like saviour to some ladies, no? :p

    I wouldn't want to send this mail to my female friends. I'll end up being their driver! Hehe!

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  4. Amazingly meticulous...

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  5. If I post this - I'll soon discover that there are holes in the hull of my kayaks! :-)

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  6. Low, you did great! My score would have been 50% at least. Somehow ladies are ladies.

    Lrong, I agree, either the author must be a very observant character or flat-out trying to get at the ladies. Anyway, it's for a good laugh too.

    fh20, yeah, I'm still digging for a tale to get back at my colleague. Got a good one?

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