Wednesday, June 21, 2006

The real truth about men's feelings

A little wisdom from my 'favourite' male colleague:

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are
the rules from the male side.

These are our rules:

o Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it.
Don't try to change that.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,
put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going
to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. o Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
o Subtle hints do not work!
o Strong hints do not work!
o Obvious hints do not work!
o JUST SAY IT!

1. ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost
every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and
one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. o You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done
o Not both
o If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say
during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. o ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
o Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
o We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will
act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is
just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you
wear is fine, Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
prepared to discuss such topics as:
- Sex,
- Sport, or
- Cars

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to
sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really
don't mind that, it's like camping.


Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education.

13 comments:

  1. Anonymous12:06 PM

    Yay I m first
    I totally agree to certain but not all..
    I like simple simple
    Dun like complicated
    :)

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  2. Some of them sound very familiar! Too familiar! LOLOL!!

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  3. Such feelings do happen long after the honeymoon is over, and probably before a marital breakup!

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  4. Zeroimpact, I think most guys are simple in nature, maybe sometimes too simple that it bothers the gals? Or am I mistaken?

    LB, yeah, sort of hits the nail on the head, doesn't it? LOL!

    Joe, eh?

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  5. Anonymous2:59 PM

    I dunno but other, but i jes like plain simple stuff... too complicated n i get choked
    But sometime I jes give in, can't argue much as arguing is the strength of the other gender
    heh heh heh

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  6. Zeroimpact, you are so nice and simple. You must be someone who's easy to get along with. Good for you.

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  7. I particularly liked #1.

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  8. Pandabonium, that's a good one. You got me fooled. LOL!

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  9. hmm men are meanies!!!

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  10. Anonymous6:23 PM

    I hope so too...
    But I dunno la...
    No 1 to get along wit oso now...
    :P

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  11. Hmm...
    #1 is more or less accurate.
    #1 is right on the mark.
    #1 is right in some ways and not in others.
    #1 - hoo hoo hoo ha ha hyuk! That's a GOOD one!
    #1 never really applied to me. Maybe it's a personality disorder.
    Yes, #1 is definitely right.
    #1 - Are guys really supposed to think like that?
    #1 is...no, wait, not that #1, THAT #1. No, that's not..

    AAAH, [expletive]!!!! Now you've got me all confused! I am only a man, after all, right? Just like it says in #1? No, not that one, the other....AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!

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  12. PC, men are meanies? haha!

    Zeroimpact, :D

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  13. MM, haha.... so there is truth in those #1s then. Now I'm the wiser.

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