Thursday, September 14, 2006

Onions and Christmas Trees

Let's jump-start our Thursday morning.

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there? The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, let me give you an analogy; there are three kinds of breasts.

In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."

"Onions?" "Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "So..Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?" The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, let me give you an analogy.

A man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties! , it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree?" "Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only ."

Have a nice day...


  1. I'm not discouraged...I still love onions, and can't go without them in fried eggs, satay and corn beef.

    However, I'll forgo the christmas tree this December.

  2. haha.. Joe, you are one good sport.

  3. Anonymous8:58 AM

    Now... I seriously am hearing this for the first time...
    I think I should forego all analogies for the time being

  4. Anonymous10:59 AM

    Hahahaha! I like the part where she said the balls are for decoration only...

  5. Mine sure didn't turn out to be...

  6. Z, yes, start with a clean slate. haha..

    Ian, you are one good sport too. That part cracked me up too. Oops!

    MM, not yet, young man, not yet. LOL!

  7. aiyo, only ang mo will say such thing to children

  8. Robin, you make me laugh. I can imagine such an episode at a Chinese dinner setting. This is only a joke, mah.