Friday, May 5, 2006
I know, I know, some of you might ask
"What's so good about the morning?"
Well, for starters, the sun is shining - even though through
mammatus clouds and a bit of a haze over the skies of KL.
The view from my office with KL city centre in the distance
is as usual.... MARVELLOUS... what with the Twin Towers and the
KL Tower in full view. Ahhhhhh.....lovely, I am thankful.
Over the radio this morning, I heard T Rex's "Get It On".
Don't you just love that grungy number?
This morning's topic was on horror stories of your driving test.
One caller volunteered that she had her car in full reverse
gear instead of forward gear and almost rammed into others
waiting their turn. From her rear-view mirror, she saw
everyone scrambling for cover when she pulled that stunt.
Well, do you have an embarrassing driving test tale to share?
Talk about embarrassing moments, here are a few side-splitting
Titled: Women's Embarrassing Moments
Curl Up and Die
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids
in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo
and a blow job?"
An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage
insurance. He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me,
and wanted to follow as best I could, so I told my 6-year-old
son to run and get me a pad. He came back and handed me a
Kotex right in front of our guest.
Ho, Ho, Ho
I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the
bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made
a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a
few shots. They came out so well that I had copies made and
included one with each of our Christmas cards.
Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing
hysterically, and suggesting I take a closer look. Puzzled,
I stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in
addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror -
wearing nothing but a camera!
(Name Withheld---Can you blame her?)
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After
browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the
good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if
he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said,
"I think I like playing with men's balls."
Nuts about You
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that
sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case,
the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I
turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has
never let me forget.
Na-na na-na na-nah!
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to
grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance
from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start
behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she
looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,
"If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I
saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was
deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers
stopped what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the
bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when
the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.
One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories I've
come upon in a long time was about a lady who picked up
several items at a discount store. When she finally got up
to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no
price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got
on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear,
"PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE."
That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store
apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "THUMBTACKS."
In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom.
"DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND
YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class
was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying
attention. She went back to find out what was going on.
He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just
recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The
teacher told him to go down to the principal's office.
He was to phone his mother and ask her what he should do
about it. He did it and returned to his class.
Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room.
She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at
his desk ith his penis hanging out.
"I thought I told you to call your mom," she screamed.
"I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it
out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school."
Okay, enough chuckles already. Get back to work or whatever
you were doing! And have a wonderful weekend.