Read more...NST
Friday, September 29, 2006
Fat Nation
Today's frontpage of the New Straits Times screams "FAT NATION". This refers to the people of Malaysia getting fat in the waist. What's frightening is that Malaysia has the most number of fat people in the Asean region.
Read more...NST
Read more...NST
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Liquid Ban adjusted on Commercial Aircraft
Adjustment on liquid ban on commercial aircraft...This is good news for travellers going to the U.S.
Effective Tuesday, Sept. 26, the U.S. Transportation Security Administration (TSA) adjusted the ban on liquids, aerosols and gels.
The two major changes are:
Travelers may now carry through security checkpoints travel size toiletries of three ounces or less that fit comfortably in one, quart-size clear plastic bag.
After clearing security, travelers can now bring beverages and other items purchased in the secure boarding area on board the aircraft.
Additional information and other travel tips can be found on the TSA Web site.
Effective Tuesday, Sept. 26, the U.S. Transportation Security Administration (TSA) adjusted the ban on liquids, aerosols and gels.
The two major changes are:
Travelers may now carry through security checkpoints travel size toiletries of three ounces or less that fit comfortably in one, quart-size clear plastic bag.
After clearing security, travelers can now bring beverages and other items purchased in the secure boarding area on board the aircraft.
Additional information and other travel tips can be found on the TSA Web site.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Tell me this won't happen to us
Enjoy these.....
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement centre were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:
"Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains.
I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants
An elderly Florida resident called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried.
The dispatcher said , "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."
A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." he says. "She
got in the back-seat by mistake."
FAMILY
Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96-year- old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94-year-old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see."
She starts up the stairs and pauses, "Was I going up the stairs or down?"
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood."
She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
"I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!"
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?"
"No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday."
And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."
OLD FRIENDS
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends for a long time ....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!"
He said, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
DRIVING
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. "I could have sworn we just went through a red light."
After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through.
The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through.
So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Crap, am I driving?"
LITTLE OLD LADY DRIVER
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, an AZ State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 17 MPH. He thinks to himself "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!"
So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies - - two in the front seat and three in the back -- wide-eyed and white as ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"
"Ma'am," the officer replies, "you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly...seventeen miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly.
The AZ State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "17" was the highway number, not the speed limit.
A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.
"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask..Is everyone in this car ok? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time." the officer asks.
"Oh, they'll be alright in a minute officer. We just got off highway 101."
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement centre were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:
"Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains.
I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants
An elderly Florida resident called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried.
The dispatcher said , "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."
A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." he says. "She
got in the back-seat by mistake."
FAMILY
Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96-year- old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94-year-old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see."
She starts up the stairs and pauses, "Was I going up the stairs or down?"
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood."
She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
"I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!"
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?"
"No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday."
And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."
OLD FRIENDS
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends for a long time ....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!"
He said, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
DRIVING
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. "I could have sworn we just went through a red light."
After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through.
The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through.
So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Crap, am I driving?"
LITTLE OLD LADY DRIVER
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, an AZ State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 17 MPH. He thinks to himself "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!"
So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies - - two in the front seat and three in the back -- wide-eyed and white as ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"
"Ma'am," the officer replies, "you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly...seventeen miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly.
The AZ State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "17" was the highway number, not the speed limit.
A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.
"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask..Is everyone in this car ok? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time." the officer asks.
"Oh, they'll be alright in a minute officer. We just got off highway 101."
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
Monday, September 25, 2006
A Birthday Dedication
I know, I know, by the time you read this it's probably two days late in reality but let's cheat a little and make it realtime shall we? Check out the entry date. This is a birthday dedication and if your birthday falls on September 25, then it's for you.
Happy Birthday
From the HAZELNUT TREE (the Extraordinary),
You are
- charming, undemanding, very understanding, knows how to make an impression, active fighter for social cause, popular, moody, and capricious lover, honest, and tolerant partner, precise sense of judgment.
And being a Swan
- You are a complex character. While appearing on the surface as a calm and relaxed individual, underneath they are working hard to keep up with the pace of modern life. If provoked their natural graceful demeanour can give way to a violent temper which puts them in a flap. They are definitely someone to have on your side.
A September person is
*Suave and compromising *Careful, cautious and organised *Likes to point out people's mistakes *Likes to criticize *Quiet but able to talk well *Calm and cool *Kind and sympathetic *Concerned and detailed *Trustworthy, loyal and honest *Does work well *Sensitive *Thinking *Good memory *Clever and knowledgeable *Loves to look for information *Must control oneself when criticising *Able to motivate oneself *Understanding *Secretive *Loves sports, leisure and travelling *Hardly shows emotions *Tends to bottle up feelings *Choosy especially in relationships *Loves wide things *Systematic
And as a Number 7 person
- You have got the attraction to anyone out there. You are realistic, very confident, happy, such a Talented individual with your Education, Music, Arts, Singing,and most importantly Acting too..you have real problems with bad temper!! if you are a girl you are popular in the subjects listed above. You give up things for your parents, meaning you value your family a lot. If you are a guy you are popular with Girls. You are very talented.
- You are a wonderful, Friendly, Artistic and Happy person.. you are born to contribute a lot to this world!!!
And from the Egyptian almanac, your sign is Ra - the Sun God
- You'll have no trouble finding Mr/Ms Right because you're what every man/woman is looking for - tender,understanding, passionate, and Intensely loyal. Men/Women will flock to you, so you can afford to be choosy. Pick the man/woman who is most deserving of the prize you are, and don't look back. Your only fault is a tendency to wonder if you made the right choices in the past, so keep your eyes peeled on the future.
So...we covered all the good sides. Perhaps time to get this Libra down to earth a bit.
- Your inability to reach a decision in matters of personal action is legendary. You like to weigh all the alternatives and hear every side of an argument - but this may take time and opportunities may pass you by because of it. You also like to expand energy on people who may not deserve it - You want to help the underdog. You are also sensitive to criticism and may take mild statements of fact very personally.
Advice: Follow your instincts and act on them - stop sitting on fences. Don't blindly trust people, learn to be a little more discriminating in your offers of help. Learn to think for yourself and don't be swayed by persuasive tongues.
There you go. Hope that was interesting reading.
Happy Birthday again and Many Happy Returns.
May you have happiness always.
Do you know anyone who celebrates a birthday on this date?
Happy Birthday
From the HAZELNUT TREE (the Extraordinary),
You are
- charming, undemanding, very understanding, knows how to make an impression, active fighter for social cause, popular, moody, and capricious lover, honest, and tolerant partner, precise sense of judgment.
And being a Swan
- You are a complex character. While appearing on the surface as a calm and relaxed individual, underneath they are working hard to keep up with the pace of modern life. If provoked their natural graceful demeanour can give way to a violent temper which puts them in a flap. They are definitely someone to have on your side.
A September person is
*Suave and compromising *Careful, cautious and organised *Likes to point out people's mistakes *Likes to criticize *Quiet but able to talk well *Calm and cool *Kind and sympathetic *Concerned and detailed *Trustworthy, loyal and honest *Does work well *Sensitive *Thinking *Good memory *Clever and knowledgeable *Loves to look for information *Must control oneself when criticising *Able to motivate oneself *Understanding *Secretive *Loves sports, leisure and travelling *Hardly shows emotions *Tends to bottle up feelings *Choosy especially in relationships *Loves wide things *Systematic
And as a Number 7 person
- You have got the attraction to anyone out there. You are realistic, very confident, happy, such a Talented individual with your Education, Music, Arts, Singing,and most importantly Acting too..you have real problems with bad temper!! if you are a girl you are popular in the subjects listed above. You give up things for your parents, meaning you value your family a lot. If you are a guy you are popular with Girls. You are very talented.
- You are a wonderful, Friendly, Artistic and Happy person.. you are born to contribute a lot to this world!!!
And from the Egyptian almanac, your sign is Ra - the Sun God
- You'll have no trouble finding Mr/Ms Right because you're what every man/woman is looking for - tender,understanding, passionate, and Intensely loyal. Men/Women will flock to you, so you can afford to be choosy. Pick the man/woman who is most deserving of the prize you are, and don't look back. Your only fault is a tendency to wonder if you made the right choices in the past, so keep your eyes peeled on the future.
So...we covered all the good sides. Perhaps time to get this Libra down to earth a bit.
- Your inability to reach a decision in matters of personal action is legendary. You like to weigh all the alternatives and hear every side of an argument - but this may take time and opportunities may pass you by because of it. You also like to expand energy on people who may not deserve it - You want to help the underdog. You are also sensitive to criticism and may take mild statements of fact very personally.
Advice: Follow your instincts and act on them - stop sitting on fences. Don't blindly trust people, learn to be a little more discriminating in your offers of help. Learn to think for yourself and don't be swayed by persuasive tongues.
There you go. Hope that was interesting reading.
Happy Birthday again and Many Happy Returns.
May you have happiness always.
Do you know anyone who celebrates a birthday on this date?
Friday, September 22, 2006
Potatoes
A kindergarten teacher has decided to let her class play a game. The teacher told each child in the class to bring along a plastic bag containing a few potatoes. Each potato will be given a name of a person that the child hates, so the number of potatoes that a child will put in his/her plastic bag will depend on the number of people he/she hates.
So when the day came, every child brought some potatoes with the name of the people he/she hated.
Some had 2 potatoes; some 3 while some up to 5 potatoes. The teacher then told the children to carry with them the potatoes in the plastic bag wherever they go (even to the toilet) for 1 week.
Days after days passed by, and the children started to complain due to the unpleasant smell let out by the rotten potatoes. Besides, those having 5 potatoes also had to carry heavier bags. After 1 week, the children were relieved because the game had finally ended....
The teacher asked: "How did you feel while carrying the potatoes with you for 1 week?". The children let out their frustrations and started complaining of the trouble that they had to go through having to carry the heavy and smelly potatoes wherever they go.
Then the teacher told them the hidden meaning behind the game. The teacher said: "This is exactly the situation when you carry your hatred for somebody inside your heart. The stench of hatred will contaminate your heart and you will carry it with you wherever you go. If you cannot tolerate the smell of rotten potatoes for just 1 week, can you imagine what is it like to have the stench of hatred in your heart for your lifetime???"
Moral of the story:
Throw away any hatred for anyone from your heart so that you
will not carry sins for a lifetime. Forgiving others is the best attitude
to take! Love others even if you don't like them
True love is not loving a perfect person
but loving an imperfect person perfectly.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Pomelo Cat
A follow-up from the previous post, just like grandpa, even kitties can have one. Look, Robin's kitty is sporting one too. Isn't she a darling?
I'm assuming it's a she but oh no! she's got whiskers.... Oh well..
(Thanks, Robin, for letting me use the cute picture.)
I'm assuming it's a she but oh no! she's got whiskers.... Oh well..
(Thanks, Robin, for letting me use the cute picture.)
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
The New Beach Wear
This is the new rage in town, to be exact, Ipoh town.
It's an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny PO-ME-LO bikini.
It's a one-size-fits-all. Even guys can own one. They only need some training on alignment.
With the government encouraging cultivating our own greens,
this could be a new slogan: GROW YOUR OWN BRA.
Hey, it's even good for the head. Grandpa has one. Want one?
For more info on Pomelo, click here for the Wiki version.
Source of pictures: Forwarded mail
It's an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny PO-ME-LO bikini.
It's a one-size-fits-all. Even guys can own one. They only need some training on alignment.
With the government encouraging cultivating our own greens,
this could be a new slogan: GROW YOUR OWN BRA.
Hey, it's even good for the head. Grandpa has one. Want one?
For more info on Pomelo, click here for the Wiki version.
Source of pictures: Forwarded mail
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Moods
Everyone is given to moods once in awhile but there are two distinct moods, one of the woman's and the other the man's. Don't believe me? Check it out.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Thursday, September 14, 2006
The Eye of God
I am sure you have seen this countless times - me too - but it is such an awesome sight that I am blogging it to give it a permanent home so that I can go back to it whenever I feel like I need a little inspiration.
This is a picture NASA took with the hubble telescope. It's named "The Eye of God". I wonder what it is. Perhaps God was caught looking down on us or was it photo-shopped to fool the world.
This is a picture NASA took with the hubble telescope. It's named "The Eye of God". I wonder what it is. Perhaps God was caught looking down on us or was it photo-shopped to fool the world.
Onions and Christmas Trees
Let's jump-start our Thursday morning.
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there? The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, let me give you an analogy; there are three kinds of breasts.
In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."
"Onions?" "Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "So..Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?" The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, let me give you an analogy.
A man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties! , it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree?" "Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only ."
Have a nice day...
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Ms Beatrice, the Church Organist
Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom. When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.
The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.
"Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.
"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter."
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Learn to write in the sand
A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert.
In a specific point of the journey, they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face.
The one, who got slapped, was hurt, but without anything to say, he wrote in the sand: "TODAY, MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE".
They kept on walking, until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who got slapped and hurt started drowning, and the other friend saved him. When he recovered from the fright, he wrote on a stone: "TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE".
The friend who saved and slapped his best friend, asked him,
"Why, after I hurt you, you wrote in the sand, and now you write on a stone?"
The other friend, smiling, replied: "When a friend hurts us, we should write it down in the sand, where the winds of forgiveness get in charge of erasing it away, and when something great happens, we should engrave it in the stone of the memory of the heart, where no wind can erase it"
Learn to write in the sand.
Source unknown
In a specific point of the journey, they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face.
The one, who got slapped, was hurt, but without anything to say, he wrote in the sand: "TODAY, MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE".
They kept on walking, until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who got slapped and hurt started drowning, and the other friend saved him. When he recovered from the fright, he wrote on a stone: "TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE".
The friend who saved and slapped his best friend, asked him,
"Why, after I hurt you, you wrote in the sand, and now you write on a stone?"
The other friend, smiling, replied: "When a friend hurts us, we should write it down in the sand, where the winds of forgiveness get in charge of erasing it away, and when something great happens, we should engrave it in the stone of the memory of the heart, where no wind can erase it"
Learn to write in the sand.
Source unknown
Monday, September 11, 2006
September 11, 2001
Thought I'd commemorate 9/11 with a blog entry.
Five years have passed since that fateful day on September 11, 2001. I remember seeing the incident on CNN thinking that it was just a staged documentary.
Today, sadly there has not been much difference as violence is still being employed to settle differences among nations. At the rate we are going looks like mankind will never get to experience total peace.
Related story:
Bush vows never to forget Sept. 11 lessons
By Tabassum Zakaria
NEW YORK (Reuters) - President George W. Bush made a pilgrimage to New York's Ground Zero on Sunday on the eve of the fifth anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks and said he would never forget the lessons of that day.
The somber Bush and his wife, Laura, laid wreaths at Ground Zero, attended a prayer service nearby with families who lost loved ones, then shook hands with firefighters at a firehouse near where the World Trade Center's twin towers had stood.
More...The Star
Pilgrims or tourists, millions come to Ground Zero
By Claudia Parsons
NEW YORK (Reuters) - Tour guide Ann Van Hine is rewarded with tears, not tips, and frequently reduces visitors to an awed silence when she tells them how her husband, a firefighter, died at the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, 2001.
More...The Star
Five years have passed since that fateful day on September 11, 2001. I remember seeing the incident on CNN thinking that it was just a staged documentary.
Today, sadly there has not been much difference as violence is still being employed to settle differences among nations. At the rate we are going looks like mankind will never get to experience total peace.
Related story:
Bush vows never to forget Sept. 11 lessons
By Tabassum Zakaria
NEW YORK (Reuters) - President George W. Bush made a pilgrimage to New York's Ground Zero on Sunday on the eve of the fifth anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks and said he would never forget the lessons of that day.
The somber Bush and his wife, Laura, laid wreaths at Ground Zero, attended a prayer service nearby with families who lost loved ones, then shook hands with firefighters at a firehouse near where the World Trade Center's twin towers had stood.
More...The Star
Pilgrims or tourists, millions come to Ground Zero
By Claudia Parsons
NEW YORK (Reuters) - Tour guide Ann Van Hine is rewarded with tears, not tips, and frequently reduces visitors to an awed silence when she tells them how her husband, a firefighter, died at the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, 2001.
More...The Star
Chasing away the Monday Blues
Having the Monday blues, here are two good, clean jokes to lighten up your day.
Age Guilt
Have you been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking... surely I cannot look that old?! You may enjoy this short story.
While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a tall, handsome boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30 years ago. Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. After he had examined my teeth I asked him if he had attended the local high school. "Yes," he replied.
"When did you graduate?", I asked. He answered, "In 1971. Why?"
"You were in my class!" I exclaimed. He looked at me closely, and then the *&@#%$@# asked...
"What did you teach?"
Coke
A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment. A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"
The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will makes a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters...
First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert sand... totally exhausted and panting. Second, the man is drinking our Cola and Third, our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were pasted all over the place"
That should have worked," said the friend. The salesman replied, "Well, not only did I not speak Arabic, I also didn't realize that Arabs read from right to left..."
McCurry = McDonald's
An interesting article...
NEW YORK: The Malaysian High Court judgment that ordered a Kuala Lumpur restaurant to change its “McCurry” name has got another McCurry tickled pink.
This McCurry – award-winning photographer Steve McCurry – was quite amused to find out about the judgment, which ordered McCurry Restaurant (KL) Sdn Bhd to drop the “Mc” from its name.
“It is kind of funny but I guess what is more important is the quality of the food,” McCurry, who has won four top prizes in the World Press Photo Contest, said.
One of his most famous pictures was a close-up shot of an Afghan girl with her haunting green-coloured eyes, which made it to the cover of the National Geographic magazine.
Read story...The Star...Top pixman McCurry tickled pink by hot news
NEW YORK: The Malaysian High Court judgment that ordered a Kuala Lumpur restaurant to change its “McCurry” name has got another McCurry tickled pink.
This McCurry – award-winning photographer Steve McCurry – was quite amused to find out about the judgment, which ordered McCurry Restaurant (KL) Sdn Bhd to drop the “Mc” from its name.
“It is kind of funny but I guess what is more important is the quality of the food,” McCurry, who has won four top prizes in the World Press Photo Contest, said.
One of his most famous pictures was a close-up shot of an Afghan girl with her haunting green-coloured eyes, which made it to the cover of the National Geographic magazine.
Read story...The Star...Top pixman McCurry tickled pink by hot news
Friday, September 8, 2006
A story of Lao Tzu times
I've not been able to upload images since yesterday. Is anyone in the same situation? Anyway, no images but at least text is still available. Here's a good story.
>>> This story happened in the days of Lao Tzu in China, and Lao Tzu loved it very much - according to the email received.
There was an old man in a village, very poor, but even kings were jealous of him because he had a beautiful white horse . . . Kings offered fabulous prices for the horse, but the man would say, "This horse is not a horse to me, he is a person. And how can you sell a person, a friend?"
The man was poor, but he never sold the horse.
One morning, he found that the horse was not in the stable. The whole village gathered and they said, "You foolish old man! We knew that someday the horse would be stolen. It would have been better to sell it. What a misfortune!"
The old man said, "Don't go so far as to say that. Simply say that the horse is not in the stable. This is the fact; everything else is a judgment . Whether it is a misfortune or a blessing I don't know, because this is just a fragment. Who knows what is going to follow it?"
People laughed at the old man. They had always known that he was a little crazy.
But after fifteen days, suddenly one night the horse returned. He had not been stolen, he had escaped into the wild. And not only that, he brought a dozen wild horses with him.
Again the people gathered and they said, "Old man, you were right. This was not a
misfortune, it has indeed proved to be a blessing."
The old man said, "Again you are going too far. Just say that the horse is back . . . who knows whether it is a blessing or not? It is only a fragment.
You read a single word in a sentence-how can you judge the whole book?"
This time the people could not say much, but inside they knew that he was wrong. Twelve beautiful horses had come . . .
The old man had an only son who started to train the wild horses. Just a week later he fell from a horse and his legs were broken. The people gathered again and again they judged. They said, "Again you proved right! It was a misfortune. Your only son has lost the use of his legs, and in your old age he was your only support. Now you are poorer than ever."
The old man said, "You are obsessed with judgment. Don't go that far. Say only that my son has broken his legs. Nobody knows whether this is a misfortune or a blessing. Life comes in fragments and more is never given to you."
It happened that after a few weeks the country went to war, and all the young men of the town were forcibly taken for the military. Only the old man's son was left, because he was crippled. The whole town was crying and weeping, because it was a losing fight and they knew most of the young people would never come back. They came to the old man and they said, "You were right, old man this has proved a blessing. Maybe your son is crippled, but he is still with you. Our sons are gone
forever."
The old man said again, "You go on and on judging. Nobody knows! Only say this, that your sons have been forced to enter into the army and my son has not been forced. But only God, the total, knows whether it is a blessing or a misfortune."
MORAL OF THE STORY:
'Judge ye not' - Otherwise you will never become one with the total. With fragments you will be obsessed, with small things you will jump to conclusions. Once you judge you have stopped growing. Judgment means a stale state of mind. And mind always wants judgment, because to be in process is always hazardous and uncomfortable. In fact, the journey never ends. One path ends, another begins, one door closes another opens. You reach a peak; a higher peak is always there. God is an endless journey. Only those who are so courageous that they don't bother about the goal but are content with the journey, content just to live the moment and grow into it, only those, are able to walk with the total.
Source unknown
>>> This story happened in the days of Lao Tzu in China, and Lao Tzu loved it very much - according to the email received.
There was an old man in a village, very poor, but even kings were jealous of him because he had a beautiful white horse . . . Kings offered fabulous prices for the horse, but the man would say, "This horse is not a horse to me, he is a person. And how can you sell a person, a friend?"
The man was poor, but he never sold the horse.
One morning, he found that the horse was not in the stable. The whole village gathered and they said, "You foolish old man! We knew that someday the horse would be stolen. It would have been better to sell it. What a misfortune!"
The old man said, "Don't go so far as to say that. Simply say that the horse is not in the stable. This is the fact; everything else is a judgment . Whether it is a misfortune or a blessing I don't know, because this is just a fragment. Who knows what is going to follow it?"
People laughed at the old man. They had always known that he was a little crazy.
But after fifteen days, suddenly one night the horse returned. He had not been stolen, he had escaped into the wild. And not only that, he brought a dozen wild horses with him.
Again the people gathered and they said, "Old man, you were right. This was not a
misfortune, it has indeed proved to be a blessing."
The old man said, "Again you are going too far. Just say that the horse is back . . . who knows whether it is a blessing or not? It is only a fragment.
You read a single word in a sentence-how can you judge the whole book?"
This time the people could not say much, but inside they knew that he was wrong. Twelve beautiful horses had come . . .
The old man had an only son who started to train the wild horses. Just a week later he fell from a horse and his legs were broken. The people gathered again and again they judged. They said, "Again you proved right! It was a misfortune. Your only son has lost the use of his legs, and in your old age he was your only support. Now you are poorer than ever."
The old man said, "You are obsessed with judgment. Don't go that far. Say only that my son has broken his legs. Nobody knows whether this is a misfortune or a blessing. Life comes in fragments and more is never given to you."
It happened that after a few weeks the country went to war, and all the young men of the town were forcibly taken for the military. Only the old man's son was left, because he was crippled. The whole town was crying and weeping, because it was a losing fight and they knew most of the young people would never come back. They came to the old man and they said, "You were right, old man this has proved a blessing. Maybe your son is crippled, but he is still with you. Our sons are gone
forever."
The old man said again, "You go on and on judging. Nobody knows! Only say this, that your sons have been forced to enter into the army and my son has not been forced. But only God, the total, knows whether it is a blessing or a misfortune."
MORAL OF THE STORY:
'Judge ye not' - Otherwise you will never become one with the total. With fragments you will be obsessed, with small things you will jump to conclusions. Once you judge you have stopped growing. Judgment means a stale state of mind. And mind always wants judgment, because to be in process is always hazardous and uncomfortable. In fact, the journey never ends. One path ends, another begins, one door closes another opens. You reach a peak; a higher peak is always there. God is an endless journey. Only those who are so courageous that they don't bother about the goal but are content with the journey, content just to live the moment and grow into it, only those, are able to walk with the total.
Source unknown
Thursday, September 7, 2006
When a Woman Lies
Sorry guys, here's another post about the fairer sex. Did I say 'fairer'?
One day, a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river and her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?"
The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family.
The Lord dipped his hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with pearls. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.
The seamstress replied, "No."
The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a silver thimble ringed with sapphires. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked again.
The seamstress replied, "No"
The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.
The seamstress replied, "YES."
The lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep and the seamstress went home happy.
Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the same riverbank and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you crying?"
"Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!"
The Lord went down into the water and came up with Mel Gibson. "Is this your husband?" the Lord asked.
"Yes," cried the seamstress.
The lord was furious. "YOU LIED! That is untrue!
The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Mel Gibson, you would have come up with Tom Cruise. Then, if I said 'No' to him, you would have come up with my husband and had I then said 'yes' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so that's why I said 'yes' to Mel Gibson."
The moral of this story is: *WHENEVER A WOMAN LIES, IT'S FOR A GOOD AND HONORABLE REASON AND IN THE BEST INTEREST OF OTHERS. THAT'S OUR STORY, AND WE'RE STICKING TO IT*
One day, a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river and her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?"
The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family.
The Lord dipped his hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with pearls. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.
The seamstress replied, "No."
The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a silver thimble ringed with sapphires. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked again.
The seamstress replied, "No"
The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.
The seamstress replied, "YES."
The lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep and the seamstress went home happy.
Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the same riverbank and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you crying?"
"Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!"
The Lord went down into the water and came up with Mel Gibson. "Is this your husband?" the Lord asked.
"Yes," cried the seamstress.
The lord was furious. "YOU LIED! That is untrue!
The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Mel Gibson, you would have come up with Tom Cruise. Then, if I said 'No' to him, you would have come up with my husband and had I then said 'yes' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so that's why I said 'yes' to Mel Gibson."
The moral of this story is: *WHENEVER A WOMAN LIES, IT'S FOR A GOOD AND HONORABLE REASON AND IN THE BEST INTEREST OF OTHERS. THAT'S OUR STORY, AND WE'RE STICKING TO IT*
Wednesday, September 6, 2006
Being Woman
Battle of the sexes? Nah.... Just taking stock of the differences and trying to accept them even though we get discriminated against (see picture), accused of having our own little dictionary, sadly misunderstood, blamed for bad driving, slighted for telling cock and bull stories, scoffed at for having a list on "How to impress a woman" and we even have to suffer leg cramps and flaunt our fake behind to get some attention.
Finally, we had to seek divine help, but the headaches persisted doing it the first time.
Anyway, let me prove how misunderstood we are.
**Sigh**
Hey, don't blame us. We just see more in a Mission.
Ahhh...variety is the spice of life, and we are not talking about knobs.
I can see you guys gloating......
Finally, we had to seek divine help, but the headaches persisted doing it the first time.
Anyway, let me prove how misunderstood we are.
**Sigh**
Hey, don't blame us. We just see more in a Mission.
Ahhh...variety is the spice of life, and we are not talking about knobs.
I can see you guys gloating......
Tuesday, September 5, 2006
A Hokkien Poem
Malaysia is a multi-racial country. Even the Chinese community is made up of people from different dialect groups, i.e., Cantonese, Hokkien (Fujian), Hakka, Teochew, Hainanese, and others, and even these can further be subdivided into various sub-dialects. However, the amazing thing is that all dialects use the same common written form, the Chinese characters.
In Malaysia, each area or city somehow has a dominant dialect, e.g., in Kuala Lumpur, the lingua franca is Cantonese though other dialects are also spoken but to a lesser extent. However, in Penang, Hokkien is the main dialect used.
And talk about Hokkien, here's a poem for you, Hokkien lang. ** Special note to the uninitiated: "kia" is Hokkien for "a child of" or an equivalent.
Children is kina kia
Bird is chiao kia
Korean Car is Kia
Give birth is seh kia
Furniture is Ikea
Police is mata kia
Small house is chu kia
Country name is Czechoslovakia
Puppy is kao kia
Kitten is ngiao kia
Chicken is kuey kia
Pig is tu kia
H/phone is nokia
I'm Hokkien kia,
Malay is huan kia
Hindu is kit leng kia
Kuai lou is ang mo kia
Chinese is t'ng lang Kia
Japanese is jit pun kia
Bad Guy is phai kia
Good Guy is ho kia
Person who read this message is Gong Kia
If you laugh, you are Siow Kia
Peace!
Monday, September 4, 2006
Funny driver’s guide to Johor
Most Singaporeans don't venture out of Johor Baru probably because they are not sure what to expect. There is now a driver's guide to help you along.
This tongue-in-cheek "Funny driver’s guide to Johor" is distributed free at Tourism Malaysia office in Singapore as well as at selected petrol stations, trade fairs and through mail drops.
It abounds with tips such as how to safely take a leak by the side of the highway and how not to race with local drivers of vehicles with more than four wheels.
It also has detailed maps of the eight districts in Johore and marks out popular places of interest, e.g, eateries, golf courses, shopping spots, beach resorts, etc.
In keeping with the humorous style of the guide, the last tip says: “And yes there is no rule that requires you to return home with an empty tank. So, please do the obvious.”
Get your copy today.
Read story: The Star...Funny driver's guide to Johor
This tongue-in-cheek "Funny driver’s guide to Johor" is distributed free at Tourism Malaysia office in Singapore as well as at selected petrol stations, trade fairs and through mail drops.
It abounds with tips such as how to safely take a leak by the side of the highway and how not to race with local drivers of vehicles with more than four wheels.
It also has detailed maps of the eight districts in Johore and marks out popular places of interest, e.g, eateries, golf courses, shopping spots, beach resorts, etc.
In keeping with the humorous style of the guide, the last tip says: “And yes there is no rule that requires you to return home with an empty tank. So, please do the obvious.”
Get your copy today.
Read story: The Star...Funny driver's guide to Johor
Friday, September 1, 2006
How much is your blog worth?
My blog is worth $14,113.50.
How much is your blog worth?
How Much Is My Blog Worth?
Inspired by Tristan Louis's research into the value of each link to Weblogs Inc, the author has created this little applet using Technorati's API which computes and displays your blog's worth using the same link to dollar ratio as the AOL-Weblogs Inc deal.
I first came across this link a few months back and my blog was worth nothing as in zero dollar but I tried it again from Littleguykitchen's and had a surprise. Well, find out how much is your blog worth - even if it's just for fun.
Travelling bags
A friend in the travel business shared this advice on travelling bags.
Do not place valuables inside luggage. As the pictures shows, the zip can still be opened easily with just a pen and can be covered back by running the zip back and forth.
Do consider investing in luggages with tamper-proof zippers, instead of saving money on cheap ones!
Do not place valuables inside luggage. As the pictures shows, the zip can still be opened easily with just a pen and can be covered back by running the zip back and forth.
Do consider investing in luggages with tamper-proof zippers, instead of saving money on cheap ones!
Rare Flowers
I thought it's Monday today. Was all pepped up for the Monday load this morning but then realised that it is actually Friday. A holiday midweek sometimes messes up ones sense of time. Am glad it's Friday though - not complaining. The thought of a weekend just around the bend sure does wonders to ones energy level, doesn't it? It does for me. Besides, I am a Friday child.
Flowers for a Friday.
The email said these are rare flowers. I am not an expert on flowers but I do know that they are really pretty. Did I ever mention that I love flowers and their colours? I love them more still intact on the plant. Butterflies are another colourful item I love to watch. Did you know that butterflies live for only four days? That's what I read. I wonder where do they go to die? Has anyone ever chanced upon a butterfly graveyard?
Hope these will put a smile on your face too.
Source unknown
Flowers for a Friday.
The email said these are rare flowers. I am not an expert on flowers but I do know that they are really pretty. Did I ever mention that I love flowers and their colours? I love them more still intact on the plant. Butterflies are another colourful item I love to watch. Did you know that butterflies live for only four days? That's what I read. I wonder where do they go to die? Has anyone ever chanced upon a butterfly graveyard?
Hope these will put a smile on your face too.
Source unknown
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