Tuesday, August 12, 2008

15 Reasons Why women should not take men shopping against their will

Why don't men like shopping like ladies? I am generalising, of course.

My girlfriends would rather leave their boyfriends and husbands at home than to have them tag along. They said it is exasperating to see them so restless out of boredom. Shopping to a man is simple, almost effortless, but for a lady, it's a totally different story. Tell me about it! LOL!

An email I received explains why women should not take men shopping against their will. Read on...

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2 . July 2 : Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least.

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'

Tom Richards
Walmart Manager


  1. men don't like to go shopping becos they generally have no patience. men only go shopping when they have something to buy. When they go shopping, they are man on a mission. They go to the stall and get exactly what they need and leave. Women will dally for hours just to browse through all the different items.

    having to tag along when women do such browsing, is pretty tormenting for men :p

  2. LOL!

    MB, I think you hit the nail on the head smack-on!! Women will want to visit every department even though it's just a pair of stockings she set out to buy in the first place!

    I guess that's why they say men and women are from different planets - Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus!

  3. Anonymous5:33 PM

    I think men can go shopping, when they need to buy something. They have no problem with that. When WE need to get something, they have NO patience.

    Play pranks are alright I guess. Better than posing like a sulking 5 year old boy. I feel like smacking him everytime he said "Hurry up, honey"

  4. Anonymous9:07 PM

    MB said it all...hehhe. But frankly, I don't really shop for hours and hours in the mall and I can't stand tagging along with frens who take their own sweet time browsing thru all the shops. Normally, my shopping is with a mission :)

  5. Not all women enjoy browsing for hours at end. My wife doesn't enjoy it. Ha, ha, ha...! :D She also looks for what she needs, wants, buys it and leaves.

  6. Poor Andie, but hey there are worse things.

    MBL, I shop alone too. No fuss whatsoever.

    MB, I suppose shopping in a shop is different from shopping in a mall. The latter provides some browsing opportunity. Of late, KL has a lot of new malls in housing estates so window-shopping is now a popular pastime during weekends, plus people eat out more.